Thursday, November 22, 2007

In which I answer questions on Thanksgiving Morning...

In which I answer questions on Thanksgiving morning

Good morning, Happy Thanksgiving, all that jazz.

Your old pal Tommy ate his Thanksgiving dinner last night with the family. Today, he's gonna chill out, watch some football, maybe go take in a movie. But, while he drinks a cup of coffee, he's going to play with this thing that came in the e-mail a few days back.....

1. When you looked at yourself in the mirror today, what was the first thing you thought?

Same thing I think every morning. "My! You are a handsome devil!"

2. How much cash do you have on you?

I'm wearing my scrub pants. I don't carry cash in my scrub pants, owing to that money is mostly unsanitary, and not good to have with me in case I have to go into surgery. I have no surgeries scheduled for this morning, but you never know what the future may hold.

Typically, I carry between 10 and 20 dollars.

3. What’s a word that rhymes with DOOR?

Wundagore.

4. Favorite planet?

I'm kinda partial to this one, owing to its breathable atmosphere, relatively favorable gravitational pull, and it's where all my crap is.

5. Who is the 4th person on your missed call list on your cell phone?

Eric, of Straight White Guy. He called Sunday. Couldn't answer because I was cleaning up. Headed to his house for beer and Hell in the Pacific. Good beer, good flick.

6. What is your favorite ring tone on your phone?

I just have one of the generic ones that came with the phone. I like it because nobody else seems to use it, so when my phone rings, I know it's mine.

7. What shirt are you wearing?

Fresh.

Green Scrub pants and a black T-Shirt that says Mythbusters: I reject your reality and substitute my own....

8. Do you label yourself?

I realized the other day that I call myself "dork" a lot.

Mostly because I'm a dork. I mean, just re-read what I'm wearing.

9. Name the brand of the shoes you’re currently wearing?

I'm barefoot. They're one of a kind! Or two of a kind. Don't know how the typing of feet goes.

I'm partial to New Balance for my shoes, though. My Wolverine workboots are pretty comfy, too.

10. Bright or Dark Room?

Darker, though I likes my reading lamps really bright.

11. What do you think about the person who took this survey before you?

Diane is mean. Meaner than most of the other forest creatures. Smarter, and more wily, too. It is this meanness, smartness and wiliness that led her to the very top of the food chain. One day, they'll write stories about her, generally meant to frighten small children away from looking in on what Santa is doing the night before Christmas.

Also, one of these days, I am going to surprise her by hugging her. I tend to think that will really confuse her and screw up her day.

12. What does your watch look like?

I don't wear a watch.

Because I can't tell time.

13. What were you doing at midnight last night?

Insanely tired, I wandered off to Dreamland.

14. What did your last text message you received on your cell say?

"I know."

I'd told my friend Robbie that she was my hero for making a couple of Pumpkin Rolls for me to take to my family's Thanksgiving dinner. That was her reply.

15. Where is your nearest 7-11?

There aren't any actual 7-11's nearby. We're covered up in Jiffy's, which have 7-11 on their signs, but aren't related to the 7-11 company. I'm thinking you might have to go over toward the east side of North Carolina, or over into South Carolina to find the nearest 7-11...

For my particular coffee, coke or gasoline needs, there's a Valley Mart/BP nearby that does all I need it to.

16. What's a word that you say a lot?

I like to say the word "shit." A lot.

17. Who told you he/she loved you last?

Probably my folks, when I left their house last night.

18. Last furry thing you touched?

Either one of my folks' dogs. Sally is a black lab, and she's a pretty girl. Max is a pug, and he is the true ruler of the universe. It takes only you acknowledging that to make life easier.

19. How many drugs have you done in the last three days?

None. Fairly boring.

20. How many rolls of film do you need developed?

Probably a few to download from the camera.

21. Favorite age you have been so far?

I kinda dug 29.

22. Your worst enemy?

Probably myself.

Or Barry Bonds. I tend to think Barry Bonds is high up on the list. But he's got perjury charges to deal with. So he won't vex me for a while.

23. What is your current desktop picture?

This

Photo Sharing and Video Hosting at Photobucket

24. What was the last thing you said to someone?

"See you later."

25. If you had to choose between a million bucks or to be able to fly what would it be?

I think I'd take the money. And I hate making this about the money, but that's what it comes down to. I thought about the flying thing, and how one might be able to parlay that into more money than a million dollars. But, I'm thinking to do that, I'd probably have to be in the public eye. I'm not one for a lot of attention.

26. Do you like someone?

Sure. I like lots of people. Some more than others.

The trick, sometimes, is getting them to like you to.

27. The last song you listened to?

"The Rotten Cocksucker's Ball" by the Asylum Street Spankers.

28. What time of day were you born?

4:30 in the afternoon. It was a Sunday.

29. What’s your favorite number?

I like 12 and 23

30. Where did you live in 1987?

EcuadorIn a little brick ranch house in Riceville. With my folks. I was 10.

31. Are you jealous of anyone?

Not really. I get pangs, from time to time. Especially of that flying person with a million dollars.

32. Is anyone jealous of you?

Not unless it's of my ravishing good looks.

33. Where were you when 9/11 happened?

In my apartment, a little depressed at having to go back to work after a vacation. I changed the channel from SportCenter, which had started to cycle through its morning replay, to see the World Trade Center with a big gaping hole. I remember wondering what movie they were promoting.

34. What do you do when vending machines steal your money?

Cuss it, generally. Honestly, it hasn't happened in a while.

35. Do you consider yourself kind?

Yeah, I do. Don't see much other of a way to go through life.

36. If you had to get a tattoo, where would it be?

What do you mean if? I have a map to the Sword of Malachi on my back. One day, people will use it to lead the peoples of Sunder Earth free from their bondsmen. It's cool to have a purpose.

37. If you could be fluent in any other language, what would it be?

Spanish, I think. Being pragmatic, I run into more Spanish speaking peoples than any other foreign language. By a ratio of more than a 100 to 1.

38. Would you move for the person you loved?

Yeah, maybe. Probably. Is there a baseball park nearby?

39. Are you touchy feely?

Not really.

40. What’s your life motto?

It's on the sidebar, there. "Those who shun the whimsy of things suffer rigor mortis before death." --Tom Robbins

41. Name three things that you have on you at all times?

Left Eye, Right Eye, Left Big Toe.

42. What’s your favorite town/city?

Chicago is neat. Also, Niota.

43. What was the last thing you paid for with cash?

I bought cranberry relish and a coke at work yesterday.

44. When was the last time you wrote a letter to someone on paper and mailed it?

I wrote a note on a get well card. Does that count? Failing that, I can't remember the last time I actually wrote a letter. C'mon now. Am I Amish? Do I live in the 19th century? We may be getting nigh on a decade now, in this digital age.

45. Can you change the oil on a car?

Yeah. Though it's such a time consuming thing that involves so many curse words, that it's usually easier just to go to Lube Dudes.

46. Your first love: what is the last thing you heard about him/her?

Eh, who knows.

47. How far back do you know about your ancestry?

I'm a direct descendant of an Ayscough who came to Martin's Hundred, in what is now Virginia, in 1630. He was my great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great Grandfather. So, the Acuffs (spelling changed around the time of the Revolution) have been infesting the continent for nearly four centuries.

48. The last time you dressed fancy, what did you wear and why did you dress fancy?

For my friends Matt and Leann's wedding ceremony, last month.

49. Does anything hurt on your body right now?

My neck hurts, a little. I slept 10 hours, which seems to happen once a week here lately, after several nights in a row of 4 hours.

50. Have you been burned by love?

Yeah. The heart's pretty stupid, sometimes.

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