I want to be the final authority on all questions sports.
Used to be, their commissioners were enough.
Now? I want to be that body to appeal to, when a Commissioner hands down a decision.
All sports would be able to appeal to me. Professional or Amateur.
For this, I ask only a small stipend. Roughly $1500 week.
Also, a cloak to wear. For I don't want people to know my identity. I'd like a hooded cloak. So I might be shrouded in mystery.
Also, I want a huge mission control type room where I might watch all these sports.
And I want the right of one arbitrary murder a year. You piss me off? I point at you, and say "Dead." And then government agents would wisk you off and destroy you. Or, if I'm driving, and some asshole cuts me off? I call a number, and attack helicopters swoop in and destroy the offending party.
I wouldn't use it often. Just enough to for it to be effective. And I'll give some back...if I don't use my arbitrary murder in a calendar year, there are no rollovers. I don't use it, I lose it. I would recommend that the year run from birthday to birthday...because that would be a hella cool birthday gift. It would also make that corridor from Christmas to my birthday a tricky one to navigate, if you're prone to pissing me off, and I haven't used up that murder yet.
Yep. Sports Czar. That's me.