Sunday, August 26, 2018

Sunday Morning

Last day of vacation.  It was a much needed 10 days off.  The past several months have pushed me toward a breaking point.  Was getting pretty sick of it, if my last post was any indication.

Still kinda sick of it.  I've had more days off in the past ten than I'd had in the previous 10 weeks.  Which is bullshit, now that I let myself think about it.

I've spent a lot of time over the past few weeks wondering just where I'm going, what I'm doing.  I've never been a big believer that what you do defines who you are, but the past four or five years have really started to disprove it.  I haven't done much living the past few years.  And I need to change that.

That might mean changing jobs.  

Anyway.  We're going to go to a baseball game this afternoon, I think.  Haven't gotten to do that much in 2018, either.  We're going to see the Lookouts....I think I've been once to their stadium, twice to the Smokies and once to Atlanta this year.  There's not much left for the AA season....

Thursday, August 16, 2018


I started vacation tonight.

The past couple or three months haven't been a lot of fun.  Boss got moved.  I thought I'd be a shoo-in to take his place.  I was not.  I am working for the person who got the job, now.   I've got no heartburn with her.  I did not enjoy the process, however.

Mostly I'm tired.

And now I'm wondering just what the fuck I'm doing.  At the place.  With my life. 

I'm lucky.  I know that.  I have my health.  I'm in love with a beautiful woman who's helped keep my head on straight for the past several weeks.

But it sucks putting anywhere from 50 to 80 hours in a week in...getting the highest marks on appraisals....doing anything asked.....travelling all over creation....and not getting the nod in the end.  I don't feel appreciated.  And I don't feel paid like I should be.

The new boss has been doing the same.  That's something to remember.  She's been in the same boat.

Like I said, I'm on vacation.  I'm gonna take it easy.  Get a couple projects done.  Try to regain some perspective after the botardism went over and above all expectations.....