Three Things

Three Things

Seen At Sheila's....

THREE THINGS I DON’T UNDERSTAND:

1. Why I keep buying books when I don't read the ones I already have. Honestly, I found a used bookstore I'd never been in down in Cleveland, and I ended up buying a collection of Jean Shepherd stories and a biography of William Faulkner....let's just throw them on the mound of books I'll read when I get around too them....

2. Why we identify ourselves with our jobs so completely in this country. I ran across the obituaries today and I read the obituary of a guy who died recently, who after playing for a basketball team in high school that went something like 26-2, found an interest in plumbing, and worked as a plumber for the last forty years. Not that there's anything wrong with working as a plumber. Maybe working as a plumber was that guy's life's calling and he enjoyed the shit out of every second. But I'd prefer the second line in my obituary not to read what I did for a living my whole life. I feel like what I do for a living is what I do to pay for my food and shelter and (mostly) to do the things that I really enjoy doing. Work to live, I guess, and not live to work.

I wrote obituaries as part of my journalism internship. I didn't think about it at the time, but I know that I wrote several based on info the family'd given me that listed what they did for a living high up. I wish I'd thought about it then the way I do now. Somehow, it just doesn't seem to do a person justice.

3. Why they can't get the Simpsons Treehouse of Horror on before November 6. I mean, the Series is schedule to be over on the 30th, if it goes 7 games this year. Why not run the sumbitch on Halloween night and then again on Sunday? This is several years in a row, and I was under the impression Fox was going to try to keep this trend from continuing this year. I really hate Fox, sometimes.

THREE THINGS ON MY DESK:

1. A stack of books about eleven high. These are the books I intend to read in the immediate future. Among them the books I bought today.

2. My computer. It's how I access the interweb. So much easier than standing on my porch and yelling ones and zeroes.....

3. A bottle of Aleve. I don't know what's up with my neck, but it's been hurting me for about a week now. I'm willing to bet dollars to donuts that this bulbous melon I call a head is putting a bit too much strain on this stack of dimes I call a neck....


THREE THINGS I’M DOING RIGHT NOW:

1. Well, I'm playing with the interweb, answering this Three Questions thing I found...

2. Waiting for the Angels and White Sox play. Like I said, I don't care much for either team, but I do like the style of baseball each plays. So I might enjoy the game. Too bad it's the Buck n' McCarver Show, once again....

3. Fending off a black cat who thinks that my duty tonight is to serve as her bed. I wouldn't have a problem except that she tends to have night terrors which result in her waking up and attacking the first thing she sees....generally me.

THREE THINGS I WANT TO DO BEFORE I DIE:

1. Get a novel published
2. Road Trip to all 30 MLB stadiums, and see a game.
3. Go to Australia

THREE THINGS I CAN DO:

1. Pick out a decent steak
2. Grill a decent steak
3. Eat a decent steak

THREE WAYS TO DESCRIBE MY PERSONALITY:
1. Quiet
2. A little weird
3. Slow to trust, but intensely loyal...

THREE THINGS I CAN’T DO:

1. I can't seem to get a handle on the idea of a dirty laundry hamper. I have two of them (one for whites, one for everything else). But somehow, everything seems to end up in mounds on the floor where ever I change clothes.

2. I can't wrap my mind around this idea of Toby Kieth. I don't think he's a real person. I think's he's a corporate sponsored hologram, a synthetic conglomeration of media archetypes...think part John Wayne, part Hank Williams, Jr., part Patrick Swayze's character in Road House, and I think you've got Toby Kieth

3. I can't let a disaster movie pass without my seeing it. Even if I know it's going to be absolutely shitty. If your trailer features some major landmark collapsing, getting crushed or blown to smithereens, I'm there, dude.

THREE THINGS I THINK YOU SHOULD LISTEN TO:

1. I really wish everybody could listen to the katydids in summer around these parts. I get a lot of meditative value out of that....

2. Listen to a few different news sources, and not just sources that echo your values completely, before forming an opinion

3. I'm all about some Rodney Crowell right now. I think you should listen to some Rodney Crowell.

THREE THINGS I DON’T THINK YOU SHOULD LISTEN TO EVER:

1. Those sound systems that aren't designed so that you can appreciate the music, but rather so that people will look at the car. I was kinda hoping that in the year 2005, we'd be past these bangin' sound systems.

2. Anybody who prefaces a statement with "You know what I'd do if I were you?" Just ignore them.

3. Tim McCarver. He's horrible. Really, really horrible.


THREE THINGS YOU SAY:

1. I say "Howdy" a lot.
2. "What do we think?" I say it too much, usually to start conversation.
3. "Shit." It's my favorite curse word.

THREE THINGS YOU’D LIKE TO LEARN:

1. Here lately, I've been thinking that I'd like to play the fiddle.
2. I'd like to learn what my cats and dogs think, when they're looking at me. I have an inkling, but I'd like to know for sure.
3. What manner of shit Bud Selig uses for his brains. I know that he has shit for his brains. I don't know what animal it comes from.

THREE BEVERAGES YOU DRINK REGULARLY:

1. Water
2. Grape Juice
3. Diet Mountain Dew. I drink an unhealthy amount of these.

Everything else is a once-in-a-while thing....

THREE SHOWS YOU WATCHED WHEN YOU WERE A KID:

1. Dukes of Hazzard
2. the A-Team
3. the Bozo Show

THREE THINGS YOU WISH PEOPLE WOULD LEARN TO DO:

1. Slow up a bit, and give people the benefit of the doubt. And I know I'm bad about this, too. But I'm trying to give people the benefit of the doubt. All I ask is that you do the same for me....

2. I'd like to get back to a point where it's more "agree to disagree" and less "us vs. them." You know, just because I don't agree with you and your viewpoint doesn't at all mean I'm trying to dissuade your from your beliefs to get you to see mine. Hell, I could give a shit. All I want is to be left in peace. I'd do the same for you....

3. I'm just going to send you back to Sheila's for my number three. That whole "unsolicited advice" thing is a big, big peeve of mine, and I don't think I could have said it better myself, except to say that when I want your help, I'll ask for it. I'm cool like that....