The Buck n' McCarver Show

The Buck n' McCarver Show

I realized last night, as I watched the Yankees and Angels, that I'd gone pretty much the whole season without having to hear a game broadcast by Tim McCarver. Any time I ran across a game on Fox, it was a the B-team broadcasters. No Tim. The one time it was Tim McCarver, it was someone on like the Yankees and Orioles, and I can't go too long on just Yankee Hate to watch a ballgame, so I didn't watch....

Dude. Do you know what I hate most about Tim McCarver? When he tries to make it appear that he's light-hearted and easy-to-laugh. He and Joe Buck were going on and on about fans giving them shit about how much they love Derek Jeter. And they only proceed to blow Derek Jeter on the air.

(That was the phrase my mind used...Tainted Bill had a bit of a better take on the whole matter...)

And at one point, somewhere in the third or fourth inning, Joe Buck cracks some wisecrack (I'm not sure what he said...by the third I was paying more attention to Stephen King's The Colorado Kid, his contribution to the Hard Crime pulp series that's been churning out stories here lately), but what got my attention was this Tim McCarver laugh.

It was a nasty, grating sound. It wasn't a laugh, really. Not in the honest, happy sense that you or I might laugh. It didn't come from the belly, from the diaphragm. Tim's laugh is a mocking sound, that comes from higher up in the chest. It was like holding a balloon, and letting it deflate in short bursts, while you hold the mouth of the balloon in the right shape, to make it squeak. His laugh is a sick, unconvincing sort of stage laugh that one makes when being polite. But here's the thing, he knows that others know he's just laughing to be polite, or to appear light-hearted and that he's having a good time in the broadcast booth, and that it's unconvincing, so he overcompensates. He laughs louder and longer than would make one comfortable.

The truth is, it's a laugh from a fellow who doesn't really understand what's so funny.

The sad fact is, it probably wasn't funny. Whatever Joe Buck said, it probably wasn't intended to produce raucous laughter from the peanut gallery, or from Tim McCarver. It would have been fine with everyone, I think, if Tim had ignored the comment altogether, or maybe had just given a "heh heh."

But who's gotta be the center of attention? I mean, they aren't here to watch a baseball game. They're here to see Tim McCarver!!!!

I wonder if, during the commercial break, Joe offered Tim a vicodin, or something else to calm him the hell down.

Of course, Tim would overreact, shove Joe over in his chair, pin him to the floor and spit and curse through gritted teeth "I'm the one they're watching...I Am!"

One other thing that twisted my shorts about the broadcast. And this is a constant thing with Fox.

This is baseball's playoffs, right?

How much time did Joe and Tim spend talking about Donovan "Gut Muscle" McNabb? I mean, I know it wears you out praising and praising Derek Jeter, but does that mean you gotta leave the sport entirely to find somebody else to talk about? What the hell. I don't want my broadcasters talking football during a baseball game, even if Fox shows football too.

I quit watching in the fourth or fifth. Boring game. I'd watched most of the White Sox schooling the Red Sox while I did chores and cleaned up. I wasn't much in the mood for another high scoring buttwhipping. Especially if it's the Yankees doing the buttwhipping. (I know it ended up just 4-2, which doesn't constitute a butt whuppin' per se...the last score I remember was 4-0, and the Yanks seemed to be getting 2 guys on base an inning...I figured it was just a matter of time before they score more....)

But while I'm on the subject of the White Sox and Red Sox, I did like Mike Piazza's contributions to that broadcasting endeavour.