Tuesday

Tuesday

Dear Online Nerd Diary,

Today, I stepped once more into the vile morass of confusion that is the Spring Forward/Fall Back debate. Problem was, I was as indignant as hell about losing an hour sleep, when the truth is I will gain one. More embarassing? I've argued correctly this point several times...I was just looking at it from the point of view of the harried retail manager, who closes Saturday night and opens Sunday morning.

The embarrassment has led me to this decision: I do not care what time the trains arrive....when I am Emperor, I will Nationalize time.

Yep. I will eliminate time zones in America Wrestlemanialand, and I will rid us of the twice-yearly inconvenience of having to re-learn how to set the clock in the car.

When somebody asks you what time it is, after my coronation, the only correct answer will be "It is time for your ass to buy a watch."

Also acceptable: "Half Past a Monkey's Ass, a Quarter Till His Balls."

I will be a benevolent dictator.