Saturday, September 26, 2009

Things I have seen, this Saturday...

Things I have seen, this Saturday....

Well, we've got another daylong bout of thundershowers wandering through my corner of the state. The flood started somewhere around 10 this morning, and continues now, nearly four hours later. A few things I have seen as I wandered out and about running a couple of errands:

  • A By-God Snapping Turtle, out in the middle of a five-lane highway. Which I'd take for more normal, were it a little more toward the edges of town. But this foot-long Godzilla in a shell was in the middle of the passing lane in the middle of Athens, on the highway right in front of the Papa John's. It's a little swampy back behind that shopping center, so that most likely explains it. Still, it gave a little pause. I drove back by there twenty minutes later, and didn't see any crushed snapping turtle remains on the either made its journey across Decatur Pike successfully, or it rained enough to wash its mortal remains toward the four corners of the Earth.
  • An asshole in a Toyota Tundra with Georgia plates, who had been weaving in and out of deluge-slowed interstate traffic between Athens and Riceville, rethink this driving strategy after hydroplaning over onto the shoulder. He regained control in what was probably a good bit of driving, to tell the truth. He did remain in the right hand lane, puttering along at a safer 55 miles an hour, or so, until I made it to the Riceville exit. I find that my wishes of death upon other drivers are little more than feints by my subconscious. It is probably true, as well, that I don't want anybody to die in a fire, despite my wishes whenever I hear political talk on the television/radio/internet of any form, lately. That won't keep me from thinking it, though.
  • A man walking up Cedar Springs Road, in the downpour, eating an apple. He seemed pretty at peace with the whole thing. I can't discount that he was some form of deity.

Tuesday, September 22, 2009



I'm at least a week behind the times, which is a tremendous shock to everybody.

Emily had this link up.

I'm iffy on this entire SNL run of folks, but damn...they have their shit down on this kind of thing.

(It's not traditionally safe for work, but just to shake things up a bit, I suggest you turn the volume on your computer way the hell up. Honestly, isn't it time for a new direction? I know I think so...)

Wednesday, September 16, 2009

Remiss....Or: The Perils of Middle Management....

Remiss....Or: The Perils of Middle Management

Well, it's another week come and gone. No words posted here on the old blogamathing. They've been a little difficult to find, the past month or so.

No, that's not quite right. There are words. There isn't free time, lately. Ten hours shifts became twelve hours shifts, and twelve-hour shifts became fourteens.

There's a point where you're thankful to have a job, and all that. And there's a point past that, too.

There's not been enough time to recharge the batteries, here lately.


There have been a few things rattling around in the noggin, though.

The first is that I've needed to throw a link up to Gooseneck's new blog....

I think Goose and I have been reading each other's blogs for six years or so. He's one of those guys that I need to make time to get out and meet, some time. He's a Cub fan, and a Bigfoot junkie to a degree. And I've said, once upon a time, that of all the blogs I read, the one closest in tone to mine was his.

Well, life happens from time to time, and Gooseneck had to stop blogging for a while. But he's back.

You can find him over at

Troy's always got good stuff. And let me publicly apologize for letting it go this long without pointing you fine feathered folks in his general direction.


I'm worn out of you people and your political opinions.

I'm worn out on the whole idea that just because somebody's policies (moral, fiscal, whathaveyou) disagree with yours, they've become the enemy. I dunno. It's an old thought, I guess, but every time I hope that we've started to move past the Black/White, Right/Wrong, Fight or Flight reflex that lives back in the reptilian part of our brain, we get a week's worth of backlash resulting from some dipshit screaming out during the middle of a Presidential Address.

For the record, this guy over here believes that the current President is no more a Communist than the previous President was a Nazi.

(And for the record, I voted for neither man. That's the beauty of voting for a third party each of the past three elections now: Zero Culpability!!!!!)

And also for the record, I would agree with anybody's assessment of Kanye West being a jackass, no matter that person were Democrat, Republican, Libertarian, Communist, Nazi, Anarchist, Chinese, Japanese, Hungarian, South African, Brazilian, Ugandan, Liechtensteinien, Ohioan, Texan, Northern Californian, Baltimoron, Hulkamaniac, Methodist, Baptist, Anabaptist, Quaker, Mennonite, Duchy Amish, Agnostic, Athiest, Muslim, Taoist, Shinto or Jew....

And that's before this week's events, even. The guy wandered onto my personal douchebag radar prior even to Hurricane Katrina.

However, I cannot claim knowledge of all things popular culture. Prior to Sunday, I'd have guessed a Taylor Swift was a breakfast dish you find in roadside diners in the New Jersey area....

At any rate, I got Obama's back on that one. Though I did douchechill somewhat at the calculated softball attempt to be a normal guy with that statement....


Anyway. Other things?

Not much.

I recommend Inglourious Basterds, if you haven't made it out to see it. Fun. Muchly.

And if you've never read any Ekaterina Sedia, I recommend her, too. That recommendation comes via my buddy Alex. A Secret History of Moscow was a lot of fun, and Alex highly, highly recommended The Alchemy of Stone, which is next on my list.

And The Cubs? Those bastards. They just won't die.

Is that a weird thing to say?

Little tired of having my heart broken, guys. This junk where you fight to stay in contention in these last three weeks of the season, winning seven of eight, or whatever it is....keeping my hopes up only serves to disappoint.

Because I'll drink that frigging Kool Aid time and time again, no matter how many trips to Jonestown I go to, swearing that I never will again.


And, I'll enclose a re-run within this post. I wrote this five years ago (damnation!!!!), and it still gets me three or four hits a day. Out of anything I've written, this probably still gets the single most amount of hits.

Simply, it is an accounting of how all the presidents of the United States who had served prior to my birth in 1977, and who had perished at the time of that writing, died:

How the Presidents Died

Here's how the Presidents of the U.S. (prior to my birth) died.

1. George Washington (pneumonia)
2. John Adams (old age, heart condition)
3. Thomas Jefferson (alcohol poisoning)
4. James Madison (Syphilis)
5. James Monroe (Syphilis)
6. John Quincy Adams (Bear Attack)
7. Andrew Johnson (Poultergeist)
8. Martin Van Buren (Syphilis)
9. William Henry Harrison (Stupidity)
10. John Tyler (Still alive, and living in Wahoo, Nebraska)
11. James K. Polk (Spider Attack)
12. Zachary Taylor (Assassinated by the Yakuza)
13. Millard Fillmore (Syphilis)
14. Franklin Pierce (Frightened to Death)
15. James Buchanan (Beaten to death by midgets)
16. Abraham Lincoln (Oxidation of vital organs)
17. Andrew Johnson (Syphilis)
18. Ulysses Grant (Died when an alien burst out of his stomach)
19. Rutherford B. Hayes (Drowned in a vat of mustard)
20. James Garfield (Still alive, in the music of Johnny Cash)
21. Chester Arthur (Choked on his mustache)
22. Grover Cleveland (Syphilis)
23. Benjamin Harrison (Syphilis)
24. Grover Cleveland (Syphilis, already)
25. William McKinley (Killed by Duncan McLeod)
26. Theodore Roosevelt (Still serving as U.S. President)
27. William Taft (Died in an attempt to become the world's fattest man)
28. Woodrow Wilson (Syphilis)
29. Warren Harding (Died laughing at his own middle name)
30. Calvin Coolidge (Syphilis
31. Herbert Hoover (Beaten to death by clowns)
32. Franklin Roosevelt (Assassinated by Daddy Warbucks)
33. Harry Truman (Eaten by monkeys)
34. Dwight Eisenhower (Ripped to shreds by the Incredible Hulk)
35. John F. Kennedy (Oxidation of vital organs)
36. Lyndon Johnson (Syphilis)
37. Richard Nixon (Syphilis)

Wednesday, September 09, 2009



I've said it several times....the first thing I'm going to do when I'm unleashed to wander your house, should you let me visit, is snoop through your bookshelves.

Sheila posted a link to Neil Gaiman's bookshelves.

Yeah. That's like heaven, right there....

I dig that, if you look closely, the books are two-deep on some shelves.

And I really laughed looking at the easy chair in the middle picture on the third row down...a chair, completely filled with books.....



I need new boots.

This is of some irritation to me.

I bought new boots not six months ago.

How, you ask, did you come to need new boots in just six months?

Actually, I do not need new boots personally.

The boots I wear on a workly basis are in wonderful condition. I enjoy them very much. They are the same model of Wolverines that I wore for three years, prior to the right sole splitting last Christmas Eve (a fact I did not figure out until I wandered out into the rainy evening after the store closed). These shoes are in wonderful condition. They are comfortable, and they support my feet.

When you are hovering around the weight of your average Defensive Lineman, and you (as a necessity of employment) stand on your feet for 10-13 hours at a time....good, quality, supporting shoes are a plus.

I do enjoy my Wolverines.

They have one fault, though.

They are the wrong color.

I toiled for a little while, trying to find a way to write a post that would somehow equate a new dress code at work to racism, paraphrasing Dr. Martin Luther King Jr.'s speech saying shoes should not be judged by the color of their skins....

But some days, I'm just not that talented.

Gotta go get some black boots at work. Because apparently my spine will curl if I wear the wrong color shoes.

Truth be told, though, it does look a touch retarded wearing the brown shoes underneath a black pair of slacks. Not that I have ever been one much for keeping up any particular appearance....

Still, and sadly I note, the model boot my Wolverines come in do not come in black.

So, today, I wander north in search of quality boots.

Pray for me, people.

Wednesday, September 02, 2009

Good Bye, New York

Good Bye, New York

Yeah, working like a botard again.

Here's an item I hope I'm not shorting on words:

Got a really cool e-mail the other day from Brendan O'Malley, the brother of Sheila, whose blog, I am floored to admit, I've been reading for six years give or take a month here or....

Anyway asking me to give a listen to a musical project that he'll be releasing on Itunes September 11: Good Bye, New York.

Brendan writes that he wrote this song upon moving to Los Angeles, September 11, 2003. I dig the song, and recommend it. Very taut lyrically, and it moves quickly (which for me, makes it a good one to put into the playlist as writing music.)

I recommend you give it a listen, and when it's released for download, help a brother out. You can listen to it over here....