Friday, July 22, 2022

Thoughts from the Ass End of the Night, Volume 3

 Once, insomnia posts were a staple of this here blogamathing.  I spent a lot of time in my 20's and 30's waking in the middle of the night, and deciding to type nonsense onto the computer.

I'm going through a spell right now.  I'm not sure the cause, though I have a suspicion I'll detail.  I'll just say this stretch, which started last Thursday night, is kinda gruesome and maybe tonight has me a little worried.

Last Thursday, I woke up around 1 to go to the bathroom, and couldn't fall back to sleep.  Went through alternating moments of it's too hot in the room, and then too cold.  Tried sleeping on the couch so as not to wake Shyam, and ended up falling asleep in a weird position, which left my neck and shoulder in a pretty good amount of pain that whole Friday.

The weekend came, and I was off.  I was able to squeeze in a couple 7 hour sleep nights. 

Then, Monday, I closed, which was followed up by an 8AM shift Tuesday.  I slept about 5 hours.  Which is about normal for one of those nights.  Wednesday, I also closed.  Tuesday, after the All-Star Game, I went to bed, and slept for about 2 hours, before waking again.  I was awake all the way until Shyam's alarm waking her.  Like I said, I closed, so I was able to sleep from about 7 to 11 and catch up somewhat.

Yesterday, Thursday, I was off.  I was woken at about 6 by thunderstorms.  There was a lot of lightning and wind, so I got up to make sure nothing major was coming our way.  After heading out for an oil change and a visit with my Mom, I came home and napped for about 45 minutes.  Tonight, we went to bed around 10.  Around 11:45, I got up to pee, and came back to bed.  I slept again until about 1:30, and I've been wide the fuck awake ever since.  Twice I've gotten up to go read in the living room, and got myself back to the point of nodding.  And as soon as I lie down, I'm wide awake.

As a minor note, in the few minutes it's taken me to punch these paragraphs out, I can feel myself getting sleepy.

I wish I knew what was wrong.

Summer's part of it.  It's not even necessarily the heat.  It's fucking swampy outside, all the time.  Unloading trucks at work lately have left us looking like we're playing basketball.  It's uncomfortable to sleep in, even with fans and AC going.  I also have a minor suspicion that our bedroom AC unit is about to give up the ghost.

Another part of it is the shifting schedule.  I don't have a set schedule.  Haven't for 19 years, at least.  I'm used to having to close a bit.

We lost another manager recently and somewhat unexpectedly.  As a result, we had to move our evening manager into that role, which left me grocery manager and me to close the store.  I've gone from closing one night a week to 2-4 times.  My body doesn't know when to sleep, and I'm having a hard time coping.

It's 5:47.  My alarm's supposed to go off in about an hour.  I can feel myself being sleepy.  I just don't know if I'll fall asleep when I lie down. 

If I didn't have a pair of new hires to do today, I'd consider calling in....

Add to that, my boss goes on vacation tomorrow, and I'm working 9 of the next 10 days.  I don't have anybody to spell me if I should call in.

I will admit to having a couple things on my mind.  

My friend Kevin Britton died at the beginning of this month in a motorcycle accident.  Eric and I had met up with him just the previous Sunday to take in a Smokies game.  Because of work, I wasn't able to attend a funeral service.  I didn't think it bugged me a the time, but it might be sticking with me.

My friend Micah's mom suffered a stroke a little while back, and he's had too much on his plate.  It bothered me how difficult it was to get her into a hospital room, and then, how difficult it's been to secure treatment.

We've been having trouble finding enough help at work.  That's not new.  That's been ongoing for months.  The past couple of months, though, it's been bothering me, as I've seen my hour count start to rise.

I don't get to see Shyam as often as I'd like.  And when we do see each other, one or both of us is too tired to do anything much fun.

I haven't gotten to see Thor: Love and Thunder yet.  That's aggravating.

I was supposed to be on vacation this week.  We had tried to plan a vacation with the family like last year's to Gulf Shores, but somebody had a claim in on this week.  About a month ago, that claim moved back a week.  I'd like to have gone somewhere with my family.  I've gotten to hang out with my nephew once this summer....and he's gonna be starting school again in a couple weeks.  

Meh.  Sorry to unburden myself....


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