Would you be my patron?

You know. You pay me to create art. You pay me money. A somewhat significant amount. And I'll create art. I'll even name it after you, if you want. I say again. I don't paint all that well. I can sing but I'm not much in the songwriting/composing department. I write. You judge for yourself the level of my artistic achievement.

This is about the third or fourth time that I've asked for a patron. Can you believe that not once have I gotten even one response?