I'd thought we'd had this all down and that it wasn't going to be a problem.

But folks, if you ignore John Stamos, he'll just go away. I honestly believe that. And maybe he'll take those stupid commercials for 10-10-987 with him. Honestly. He's in love with 10-10-987. If he could, he would cheat on Rebecca Romijn with 10-10-987. And make little human/long-distances-savings-plan hybrid babies. And then he'd be in the news all the time, because he's the former celebrity with all the freak human/phone plan hybrid babies. And he'll be on the cover of all the tabloids at the checkout line and a constant guest on Larry King and he'll take over the center square on Hollywood Squares.

That's why you have to ignore him. To protect the center square.

And let me make a grammatical note, referencing John's statement in one commercial (while he pets his dog) that "sometimes, too much of a great thing, can be a great thing."

See, here, "too" is being used as an adverbial expressing an excess amount. Excess, of course, meaning more than is needed. And what we're talking about here is phone service. First, I'm not sure one can have too much phone service, or long distance savings. Definitely so much that it's a bad thing. Second, Stamos is just making bad conversation using bad grammar. "Too Much of a Good Thing" means that you have an excess amount, too much. By definition, having more than you or anyone can use, is a bad thing. It's a given. There's no way too much (an excess gone to waste) can be a great thing, as John posits.

Now John should stop saying that before I come in there.

Remember: Ignore John "Uncle Jesse" Stamos.

Have mercy.