Well, here we sit on Interleague Play Eve. Did you get me a present? If you've been good, Allan "Bud" Selig will creep up through your shower drain, slink into your bedroom, fart in your face and say that it's roses.

Yeah. This is the baseball post. Interesting to few, believed by none. Send me money.

I don't know. Aside from the fact that the Cubs' pathetic offense could use some good old Tampa Bay Devil Rays pitching, the whole Cubs/Rays series does very little for me. To be honest, the Cubs/Yankees series doesn't do a whole lot, either. I'll get to see the Saturday game with Clemens and Kerry Wood on Saturday, and I'll admit that the prospect of that does a little something for me. But on the whole, I'm pretty bored with the next couple of weeks on the Cubs schedule.

I'll be quick, and say I'm not a fan of interleague play. I'd rather see more games against division rivals instead of Cubs/Rays and Cubs/Orioles. For every Cubs/Yankees or Giants/Twins series that you get, you've got three Tigers/Rockies or Mets/Rangers.

Let alone that whole deal where it skews the strength of schedules in competing Wild Card teams. I guess I shouldn't complain. In theory, a series of games for the Cubs against teams like the Rays and Orioles helps them against somebody like Montreal, who will play their games against the A.L. West megabitch powerhouses like Oakland and Seattle.

But I digress.

Hey remember that part where I said Bud Selig (everybody's favorite car salesman) farts in your face? He also opens your food and drools into it. He skulks about the house, picking his nose and wiping it on things. He runs your silverware up his naked buttcrack. He shakes dandruff into your salt shaker.

Merry Interleague Play Eve.