Mo Vaughn's arthritic knee is so bad he probably needs knee replacement surgery. Such a move would end his career. He's seeking second opinions and whatnot.

But he's got that guaranteed baseball money.

Vaughn will earn $15 million next season and has a $2 million buyout for 2005.

SWEET!

No working and getting paid $15 million dollars!!?!? Show me the downside to that. And you get $2 million to get your contract bought out after that. Granted, I understand there are taxes to pay. There are agents to pay. There may be accountants to pay. Possibly hangers on to pay for something.

But still. $15 million dollars, for doing nothing.

Where do I sign up?

Here's my plan. I'm going to practice really, really hard. I'm going sign with a smaller market team who's become dazzled by my undiscovered talent. We'll say, the Pirates. And I'll play for the Pirates, working my way quickly up the ladder in the minor leagues. My rookie season, I'll come in second in the Rookie of the Year to a guy from Japan. But the next year, I'll hit .331, hit 41 homers and drive in 121 runs. And the Pirates will lose in the first round of the playoffs that year. To the Dodgers. But I'll win the MVP. After that, I'll play one more season in Pittsburgh, where my numbers won't be as good (.294, 33, 99), but still respectable.

And then my contract will be up. And Pittsburgh won't be able to afford my talented behind. And I'll court offers from several big league teams, but finally decide on playing with the Arizona Diamondbacks, because they've offered me a 3 year $56 million dollar contract.

I'll play half a season. Then I'll hurt myself. I don't know. I'll blow my back out.

And the D'backs get insurance money. And I get my $56 million dollars. For no work. Of course, like Mo, I'll have go undergo a replacement surgery. What's the technology on back replacement nowaday?

I'll only have to practice for years.