Maybe the Cubs....

Maybe since we're out of June, they'll stop this ridiculous swoon of theirs. Maybe we'll get Big Choi back and he'll start producing runs. Maybe we'll trade for a closer, or perhaps a leadoff hitter. Maybe Dusty will stop being overly aggressive, and as a by-product, third base coach Wendell Kim will stop running the Cubbies out of innings.

Maybe the Cubs will learn to manufacture a run.

Maybe Sammy will break out of this slump.

Maybe Corey Patterson will get some respect and rank somewhere in the top 15 in All Star voting.

Maybe some kind soul will make themselves my patron. And pay me. For my art. So that I might afford a trek up to Wrigley.

Maybe the rest of the N.L. Central will stay mired in the slump they all seem to suffer from, and maybe the Cubs will go on a win 9 out of 11 tear, and put themselves up 4 games.

Maybe Albert Pujols will break a leg, and the tandem of Williams and Morris will develop a severe agoraphobia, and will no longer be able to pitch, and the Cardinals will fall out of contention.

Maybe the Reds will forget how to hit.

Maybe the Astros will develop a collective sty on their left eyes (or right, if they're lefties), and that'll keep them from hitting in Enron. Or maybe Atlantis will rise up in the Gulf, invade Houston and the Astros will have to be drafted into service against the Atlantean Overlords.

But I'd be impressed if the Cubs could just score some runs. Jose Hernandez is not the answer. He's only struck out something like 11 times already in the service of the Cubs and driven in how many runs? Zero? Do I hear Zero!?!?!?!!!

It's frustrating. But then, you'd think I'd be used to it.