New Year's Resolutions
My friend Julie and I discussed this in the simplest terms.
She asked: Are you making any resolutions for New Years?
Me: Nope. I'm perfect already. You?
Her: Me neither. Why mess with perfection?
However, I do have a suggestion or two for resolutions for you cell phone people.
Some of you don't understand that just because you have a cell phone doesn't mean you have to be talking to somebody all the time. I just can't imagine living with yourself when you can't stand to be alone with your own thoughts....that you have to have a little digital doorway to conversation with you at all times just so you don't have to be alone. I can't sit quietly. I need to call somebody to talk about stupid shit just to entertain me.
Just a few suggestions as to times you really don't need to be on the cellular phone:
1.) Driving. I know you think you're a perfectly able and capable driver while talking on your phone. Trust me. You're not. I'm the one behind you watching you weave, or cussing you because you can't speed up to the speed limit because you're so engrossed in your conversation.
2.) In the retail environment. If you're just walking through a store talking, that's kind of annoying, especially since most of you don't understand you don't have to talk loudly into the phone. But I'm especially irritated by those people who try to stay on their phone while making a transaction at the checkout. In the first place, it's demeaning to the person helping you, because it denotes to them you think they're not even there, and second, it's just like driving: You think you're going normal speed, but you're actually going about 30% slower than you need to be.
3.) Public Transit. Luckily, I haven't had to suffer this torture lately. But not everybody on the bus, or the train, or the plane needs to hear about your latest visit to Aunt Agnes' house, or how much of a hobag you think Tilly is. These are times that people have to share earspace, and you're hogging entirely too much of it.
4.) In the theatre/classroom/performance---Anyplace where you need to be quiet. Your time is not more important than everybody else's. It's not happened in a while, but if a phone goes off in a theatre again, that person will lose their hands.
Right now, I can think of no other occasions, though I'm sure there are plenty.
If I were king, the only people who would have cellphones would be doctors, policemen and superheroes. Like Mr. T.
My friend Julie and I discussed this in the simplest terms.
She asked: Are you making any resolutions for New Years?
Me: Nope. I'm perfect already. You?
Her: Me neither. Why mess with perfection?
However, I do have a suggestion or two for resolutions for you cell phone people.
Some of you don't understand that just because you have a cell phone doesn't mean you have to be talking to somebody all the time. I just can't imagine living with yourself when you can't stand to be alone with your own thoughts....that you have to have a little digital doorway to conversation with you at all times just so you don't have to be alone. I can't sit quietly. I need to call somebody to talk about stupid shit just to entertain me.
Just a few suggestions as to times you really don't need to be on the cellular phone:
1.) Driving. I know you think you're a perfectly able and capable driver while talking on your phone. Trust me. You're not. I'm the one behind you watching you weave, or cussing you because you can't speed up to the speed limit because you're so engrossed in your conversation.
2.) In the retail environment. If you're just walking through a store talking, that's kind of annoying, especially since most of you don't understand you don't have to talk loudly into the phone. But I'm especially irritated by those people who try to stay on their phone while making a transaction at the checkout. In the first place, it's demeaning to the person helping you, because it denotes to them you think they're not even there, and second, it's just like driving: You think you're going normal speed, but you're actually going about 30% slower than you need to be.
3.) Public Transit. Luckily, I haven't had to suffer this torture lately. But not everybody on the bus, or the train, or the plane needs to hear about your latest visit to Aunt Agnes' house, or how much of a hobag you think Tilly is. These are times that people have to share earspace, and you're hogging entirely too much of it.
4.) In the theatre/classroom/performance---Anyplace where you need to be quiet. Your time is not more important than everybody else's. It's not happened in a while, but if a phone goes off in a theatre again, that person will lose their hands.
Right now, I can think of no other occasions, though I'm sure there are plenty.
If I were king, the only people who would have cellphones would be doctors, policemen and superheroes. Like Mr. T.
posted by Tommy at
17:25
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