Unkind Words

I don't usually hassle strangers. Generally. I don't, because I don't like to be hassled. I've come to believe quite a bit in karma, and even the smallest thing comes back around.

However, I've been known to mess with the occasional person when I'm feeling spry.

The other day, I was shopping at one of my two neighborhood Wal-Marts. And there, a feller was hanging up dog sweaters on a display, and he held one up to the light, almost questioningly, and as I walked by, I told him "dog sweater." And added: "For Dogs," and made a sweeping gesture indicating they wear the sweater like we would wear a sweater.

Harmless, right? Well, other than the ill look the feller hanging dog sweaters gave me, I thought little else of it.

I got my penance today, I think. I was in a book store, and had to make a quick trip to the toilet.

(Aside #1: My favorite euphemism for going to the toilet is to say "I'm going to see a man about a horse.")

(Aside #2: I'm glad I'm not a girl....childbirth, the menstrual cycle, shaved legs and all those apparently requisite shoes notwithstanding, I couldn't live in a world where I had to sit on a public toilet to do every bit of my bidness, when I was away from home).

That said, I'd finished up the transaction, and had just gotten everything into place when I hear a small, child-like voice say "Hi!"

I look to where the voice was coming from, and a small, blonde child has stuck his head under the stall door, and was greeting me.

I almost screamed. And even worse, there was a hundredth of a second urge to kick (not nudge) the kid back through the opening.

"Get outta here," I say. The kid slides back out of the stall, mechanic style.

As I'm coming out of the stall, the kid's father comes into the restroom, too (it was one of those restrooms where there aren't any doors, rather you're cut off from public view by a U-shaped hallway, so there were no doors for me to have heard either the kid come in or his father). He picks the kid up off the floor, says (kindly) "don't do that."

I'll cut strangers a lot of slack. Generally. This is true more now than it was six months ago, when my job ate up every bit of my patience, and then some. But I had one person describe me recently as patient to a fault.

But I got a bit ill when mentioning to him that he needs to keep a better handle on his kids, teach him not to crawl around on public restroom floors and not to stick his head under bathroom stalls.

I mean, what if the kid had popped in mid transaction? I might have blown a kidney or torn my liver in surprise, and that poor kid....he'd have been scarred for life.

And while I know that it's not typically charming to discuss bathroom habits, I think it's good to know which buttons shouldn't be pushed. That's all.