Pudge Wanted Paid

Ivan Rodriguez signed with the Detroit Tigers.

He got that World Series ring, and then agent Scott Boras did his job perfectly: he found the team willing to pay the most over the longest period of time. And that was the lowly Tigers, for whom absolutely any lineup change over last year will be an improvement.

Hell, they called me to come play first base, but there's something in the collective bargaining agreement that keeps them from being able to pay me in buckets of chicken and scratch-off lottery tickets. So I had to turn them down.

Maybe Pudge will help them get to that vaunted 57 win plateau....

If you'll pardon me while I chew on these sour grapes, I'll just say that if he'd signed with the Cubs, he'd probably have become Todd Hundley all over again....hitting .192 when he wasn't out with some manner of heinous butt injury or some other bullshit thingamajig.