TV Tuesday

It's that time again. The third iteration of TV Tuesday:

Reality TV is everywhere, love it or hate it. From Survivor to My Big Fat Obnoxious American Idol - Oh, sorry, there are too many to keep track of!!! So do tell- what's your take on the topic???

1. Do you consider yourself a "fan" of reality TV?

Nope. I've come to loathe Reality TV. And this from a guy who takes great delight in living vicariously though others.

I think my biggest irritation is the fact that instead of finding new, talented writers and creators to make actual new television programs, TeeVee seems to use the same pool of writers to pump out the same crap that people are getting tired of.

And instead of assuming that it's the writers that suck instead of all fictional TV, TV execs just keep dumping reality television on us. And like a bunch of crap-eating dogs, the viewing public just keeps going back to it.

2. What's your "can't miss" reality TV show (or shows)?

All that said, I wasn't against reality TV from the start. I liked Survivor when it started. Mostly because of Rudy, who was cool, and Elizabeth Hasselback, who was purdy.

Tough Enough, the WWE show, I watched pretty regularly all three seasons.

But the best ever reality show: Joe Schmo. That was awesome TV.

3. What reality TV show do you suppose the devil plays on the TV in Hell as punishment?

American Idol.

I've never seen an episode. But somehow the names Simon, Paula, Ryan, Justin, Clay, Ruben and Kelly are branded into my frontal lobe. You can't sling a dead cat without hitting something having to do with American Idol.

I'm so sick of hearing and seeing about American Idol my ass is sore.

The concept bugs me, first and foremost. Let's have a bunch of semi- and quasi-talented middle-American looking people get on the TV and sing covers of adult contemporary classics. And let's do it two and three times a week. All in favor of fine television shows like Andy Richter Controls the Universe, Bernie Mac, Wanda Sykes, the Tick, and Arrested Development.

It's just rude, to me. I don't go to karaoke bars. I guess this is TV's way of bringing the karaoke to me. But it's not enough to have karaoke. We have to have a bunch of talentless hacks in the forms of Simon Cowell, Paula Abdul and that fat guy whose "autobiography" had the word "Dawg" in the title in a form not referring to the University of Georgia bicker with each other over the course of several different nights a week as to whether the little weaselly looking girl's cover of "Wind Beneath My Wings" was up to snuff or not.

And then, the snotty Brit flips somebody the bird, or doesn't, and it's front page news.

I'm tired of not being able to check out at the grocery store without seeing Clay Aiken's weird wirey/junkie/cowboy/mindless grin on the cover of some tabloid, or seeing somebody else fret over the fact that Ruben Studdard is fat.

Can we let Paula Abdul fade back into obscurity?

Can we leave the karaoke to the Japanese?

And would Simon Cowell and Ryan Sechrest please just go do it and leave the rest of us out of their weird commonlaw marriage bickerfest they have with one another?

And mostly: I'm tired of knowing every bit of that information.

I've never seen the show C.S.I.

I don't know anything about C.S.I.

I'm sure it's a fine show, but I'm comfortable knowing absolutely nothing about the show.

There are no C.S.I. radio show news updates. There are no C.S.I. articles in the newspaper. And Matt and Katie do not discuss the ramifications of C.S.I. on the Today show every morning.

I'm tired of being bombarded from every possible media outlet with news ON A KARAOKE CONTEST. American Idol makes me very sad for the American Public, if this is what it's eating up when it comes to TV.

~Bonus~ If you were given a free ticket to be on any reality show, which one would you choose?

Am I allowed to bring a gun? Given my answer to the previous question, an assassination or four might do Idol some good.

If I'm just playing, the roommate and I discussed Real World's need for a surly, anti-social guy who builds a fort out of couch cushions in the corner of one of the rooms, and never come out over the course of the show, except to steal food from the roommates, and to use the bathroom on the balcony.

To me, that would make for interesting reality TV.

Thanks for playing, evidently fear is not a factor for you!