Tuesday, November 09, 2004

The Pairings are Up

The Pairings are Up

Tournament of Stuff be damned. This one's for Joebo, who enjoys these things immensely.

1. An appreciation for all things Natalie Portman
16. Getting Punched in the Face by a Clown

8. Steve Guttenberg, in The Day After.
9. Steve Guttenberg, in Short Circuit

4. A Brief Social, Historical and Economic Overview of New Zealand
13. A Pirate with a steering wheel sticking out of his pants.

5. "What'd you do when she wore the cheerleader outfit to work?"
12. "I appreciated it."

3. Kerry "Not Enough Balls to Smash Sosa's Boom Box" Wood
14. Scarlet Witch killed The Vision, Hawkeye AND Ant-Man.

6. I can eat more White Castles than any two of you.
11. The Bronze Age

7. Lost Frog
10. The guy who flips people off in Provo, Utah

2. The Island of Mypos
15. I ain't eating anything with the word "turd" in its name.

The Ground Rules

1. The Tournament will begin promptly at 5:40 AM, in the mind of the very last fifth grader on Earth not on ritalin.

1a. In the event of Sumo attack, EM Pulse, outbreak of genital warts or rain, the tournament will be held on a tuesday in september.

2. No Betting On the Tournament Floor. Betting on the action is recommended. The floor hasn't won in weeks.

3. Tournament will be single-elimination, scored on the Gould curve, with combatants deciding at time of kickoff whether to allow the George Kennedy exemption to come into play.

4. We bow to the hegemony, represented at this tournament by The Rock, and welcome his wisdom in judgment.

5. Yep.

6. Ain't it funny when a dog barks on TV, and your dog thinks it's a dog somewhere in the house, and runs, tear-assing through the house looking for this mysterious nowhere to be seen dog?

7. Now, due to the now-fabled unpleasantness at the July 1989 meeting, any disputes in scoring will be settled with a pencil fight. Because I like pencil fights.

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