Christmas Evening
Christmas Evening
Today, I was dragged into the late nineties, as I became the owner of a cellular telephone. Man. I can talk on the phone. While taking a dump! In the woods! And not even my woods!
I can take pictures with my phone. Huzzah!
It's my emergency phone. I'll use the phone in case the truck breaks down, and a I need a ride. Or in case I need to be reached if something's wrong family-wise. Or I'm caught at somebody's house, and I have to use their restroom, and I end up clogging the toilet, perhaps with my billfold, and have to call a friend to help me in a zany scheme to unclog the toilet without the owner of the house knowing what is is I've done.
I got shoes, too. A new pair of shoes. A new pair of banana boats to put on these sheets of plywood I call feet.
Books were the order of the day. Lots of reading to do. Some Tom Robbins. Some Carl Hiaasen. A little Neil Gaiman. A couple of baseball books. And an almanac. That's a tradition. I like the almanac. You can't go wrong with an almanac. Usually, it's your run of the mill World Almanac. But this year, I got the New York Times version. I'll put it on the back of the toilet, and it's generally what I'll read out of for the first few months of the year.
(Jeebus I talk about the toilet a lot.)
And Beef Jerky. Lots of beef Jerky. My favorite part of the movie Trading Places is when Eddie Murphy enters the passenger car on the train, dressed in African tribal gear. He chants for a few seconds, stops abruptly, and announces "Beef Jerky time." This is not necessarily related to why I like beef jerky. I just felt like it was an interesting story.
Got the folks and sister and brother-in-law to be some reading too. Stephen King for the poppa, and a nature book for the mother. Janet Evanovich and Christopher Moore for the sister. A gift card for the brother-in-law to be, because I don't know what he has to read, and what he doesn't. (We're fairly impressed that he knows how, at all...)
Hope you guys had a good Christmas. I enjoyed mine....
Today, I was dragged into the late nineties, as I became the owner of a cellular telephone. Man. I can talk on the phone. While taking a dump! In the woods! And not even my woods!
I can take pictures with my phone. Huzzah!
It's my emergency phone. I'll use the phone in case the truck breaks down, and a I need a ride. Or in case I need to be reached if something's wrong family-wise. Or I'm caught at somebody's house, and I have to use their restroom, and I end up clogging the toilet, perhaps with my billfold, and have to call a friend to help me in a zany scheme to unclog the toilet without the owner of the house knowing what is is I've done.
I got shoes, too. A new pair of shoes. A new pair of banana boats to put on these sheets of plywood I call feet.
Books were the order of the day. Lots of reading to do. Some Tom Robbins. Some Carl Hiaasen. A little Neil Gaiman. A couple of baseball books. And an almanac. That's a tradition. I like the almanac. You can't go wrong with an almanac. Usually, it's your run of the mill World Almanac. But this year, I got the New York Times version. I'll put it on the back of the toilet, and it's generally what I'll read out of for the first few months of the year.
(Jeebus I talk about the toilet a lot.)
And Beef Jerky. Lots of beef Jerky. My favorite part of the movie Trading Places is when Eddie Murphy enters the passenger car on the train, dressed in African tribal gear. He chants for a few seconds, stops abruptly, and announces "Beef Jerky time." This is not necessarily related to why I like beef jerky. I just felt like it was an interesting story.
Got the folks and sister and brother-in-law to be some reading too. Stephen King for the poppa, and a nature book for the mother. Janet Evanovich and Christopher Moore for the sister. A gift card for the brother-in-law to be, because I don't know what he has to read, and what he doesn't. (We're fairly impressed that he knows how, at all...)
Hope you guys had a good Christmas. I enjoyed mine....
posted by Tommy at
20:10
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