Saturday, April 09, 2005

Updating the List

Updating the List

Most of us, if not all, keep a kind of mental list of things we'd do if we ever ran into a large amount of money. You know, if you win the lottery, or have a rich relative leave you a crapload of money.

I know I always have.

And I have a new First Thing I'd Do.

I'd buy a Woolly Mammoth.

Hell yes. I can't think of anything I'd need more, if I won Powerball, than a woolly mammoth to proclaim and announce myself at the top of the financial heap. I would keep him at my house. And I would name him Elvis.

So. I win the lottery. The old #1 moves down a slot:

1. Buy a Woolly Mammoth.
2. Rent TV Time to list all the people who can just kiss my butt.

What happens thereafter is negotiable. Althought somewhat less so now, since I have an eleven-foot-tall source of sweaters to feed and, presumably, comb.


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