The Wednesday Throat Update

The Wednesday Throat Update

Well, I went to the doctor's office Tuesday morning, and there I saw a guy in the waiting room who wins the award for "most combover with the least amount of hair." Seriously. He had like 14 hairs, and he had them wrapped in an elaborate ideogram atop his head. I would have attempted to ponder the ramifications of the ideogram, except I was too engrossed in the video ad for some manner of prostate shrinking drug that was playing on the teevee in the corner.

Anyway, the doctor looks at my throat, and my nose and ears. Then gives me a strep test. Which I could write horrid things about, because it's not pleasant. But all things considered, it could have been worse. He could have punched me in the balls right before he'd administered the cotton swab. That would probably have been worse.

So. Then there was 10 minutes of waiting. You know, while the guy puts the cotton swab into the "Strep Throat Machine," which imagine looking somewhat like the #5 Robot from Short Circuit...you put the swap between the eyes, and robot analyzes it, and meanwhile entertains you with ethnic jokes.

Anyway, during the wait, the screensaver on the computer in the room was a clock. I played the game where I closed my eyes, and tried to see if I could open them exactly a minute later. I didn't do badly. I was usually a second or two fast.

The doctor returns. No strep throat, he announces. More than likely, he said, I'd gotten my infection as a result of my sinuses draining, and then the mucus pooling in the my throat while I slept.

Truly awesome.

So I got me some antibiotics. Throat's still sore, but we're keeping that shit in check with lozenges from the nice folks at CVS.

While I waited on my prescription, I stood at the newsstand and read magazines. First I thumbed through Discover, and then Pro Wrestling Illustrated (the PWI 500 issue, dontyaknow). I also thought about buying a Chia Pet, which I can only remember ever having seen for sale at drug stores.

Then I thought about buying 19 Chia Pets. I could go to pay for my prescription, and bring an tottering armload of Chia goodness to the counter. Then get pissed off when they explain to me that my coverage doesn't include Chia pets. Nothing like causing a big scene at the CVS over a misunderstanding about Chia Pets.

But I just bought my prescription. And my throat lozenges. And a bottle of Apple Juice. With minimal scene.

My prescription plan does not cover apple juice, either.

All the pity.