Royal Rumble

Royal Rumble

Hey, a wrasslin' post! Ain't posted one of these in a while.

My favorite pay-per-view of the year's coming up in 20 hours or so. Heading down to Chattaboogie to watch it and drink a beer or two at the Buffalo Wild Wings.

Why do I like the Rumble? There's a couple of reasons.

There's a part of me that's still a mark for the "sport" of wrestling. There's a great degree of the suspension of disbelief going on here, with the pro wrasslin'. But there's something in me that really enjoys the competitive aspect of it. I'm one of the weird ones who enjoys the things like tournaments and round-robins. Granted, the "sport" is merely the framework for the soap operas, and I think it's kinda like admiring a house for its foundation.

But I can dig a foundation.

And anyway, with a battle royale, such as the Royal Rumble, with the "every man for himself" mentality, with a few exceptions, you're pretty much down to the bare-bones, competitve aspect of it. It's one of the few times in a year where I can really luxuriate in that belief suspension, for a whole hour or so.

Also, with that, there's still unexpected things that'll happen during the match. Usually. You don't know who's going to end up eliminating who, and you don't know what kind of spot you're going to see all the time.

You're going to see something that you don't see every day. Which, in today's WWE, is pretty rare.

Also, I can appreciate a good coordinated clusterfuck of a match. And that's what the Royal Rumble is. A coordinated clusterfuck. Mastered chaos.

Who do I think will win? The way the story's being built, you gotta think that the two biggest candidates are Shawn Michaels and The Undertaker. And if those are the choices, considering that the show's in Shawn Michaels' home down, you gotta go with the Undertaker.

If I've been taught anything by the WWF/WWE, especially in the Monday Night Raw era, is that Vince McMahon has the weirdest hardon for screwing a guy in his home town in front of a national audience. Especially if you're not homegrown, but even if you are.

Bret Hart lost more often than not if the WWF went to Calgary (or anywhere in Canada).

Booker T will lose in Houston.

Ric Flair will lose in Charlotte, Atlanta AND Minneapolis.

And Shawn Michaels, who's just been the homer of homers for Vince McMahon for very nearly 20 years, will not win the Royal Rumble. I think it's Taker's to lose.

What's that mean for Wrestlemania and Raw? I dunno. I'm thinking John Cena's slated to continue his Superman act. He'll beat Umaga, despite being injured.

For me, it's the perfect opportunity to set up some kind of badass ladder schmozz, or something to that effect, come Wrestlemania. Instead of a MOney in the Bank ladder match, throw Michaels, Cena, Edge, Orton, Umaga and some other soul into the ladder match. Or throw an Elination Chamber dance for the belt.

I don't know, though. My gut says, for tomorrow, that all title holders retain, MNM beats the Hardys in their match, and Undertaker wins the Rumble.

(Same predictions that I've seen a lot of places. I reckon all that I can says is that "I concur.")