Thoughts

I'm much happier in my job now than I was.  I haven't once in 25 months woken up sad that I have to go do what I do.   Haven't spent a weekend or a vacation dreading going back to work.   Haven't had to deal with a District Manager visit,  or seeing somebody less qualified get promoted ahead of me. 

I don't even miss the vacation time.   That was useless.   You couldn't sell weeks back.  So you used it or lost it.  And since Shyam didn't get vacation time until the slow parts of the year,  most of my vacations were staycations.  And you'd have to spend at least a day cleaning up and catching up when you got back. 

I do miss the income.  

I'd be lying if I said I didn't. 

We don't want for anything.  Don't get me wrong.   We have food.   Clothing.  We can go out to dinner.  We have the ability to fix things if they go awry.   We're not hurting. 

But some of the little things we used to go do,  we don't. 

Concerts are the big things.   The things that brought this little more on.   Saw a double bill online for Rev. Payton's Big Damn Band supporting Gaelic Storm, both bands I dig.   Even if they were coming closer,  I don't think I'd go. 

Once upon a time, it wasn't unusual to hit 10 shows a year or more.   Not excessive.   I know people who go to dozens.   But I haven't been to a concert in a couple years,  I don't think.   And that galls me. 

I just haven't wanted to spend the money. 

Disney is another reason.   I'd love to be able to take Shyam back to Walt Disney World.   But I don't think it's in the cards for a few years. 

It was doable with the old salary. 

I guess that's the trade off.  More job satisfaction,  lower stress.   More time to actually enjoy hanging out with friends and family.   Those other things were fleeting anyway.

Keep reminding myself that,  instead of spitting useless venom about the lying liars of the world.  

And if i want to take her back to Disney,  or whatever,  maybe I should go find myself a part time job.  So,  I'll sit l shut the hell up about it. 

Or sell pictures of my behind on onlyfans. 

For $2 a month.....