You know, sometimes I like to think about how smart I am, and how much smarter I am than the average bear.

And then I go to Chuck E. Cheese and spend about 6 dollars for game tokens to win enough prize tickets to be able to afford two (2) whoopie cushions.

I'm thinking of saving my 82 tickets to be able to afford the Remote Control Battle Tank. It costs 6000 tickets, or by my reckoning, $375.

If you'd like to donate your unused tickets toward my goal, go to your front porch, yell as loud as you can for Big Stupid Tommy. Wait until I answer, and I'll tell you what to do..