I've been walking for 24 or 25 of my 26 years. I do something of a good job of it. I rarely fall over anymore, after I figured out that it's left then right.

I think the last obstacle in my road to Mastery of Walking is the door jamb. I'll be walking along, minding my own business. I walk through a doorframe and WHAM!. I damn near break off my little toe.

I did this the night before last. I got up to go get a drink of water. It's about 3:30 or so in the morning. I open the door to my bedroom. I try to step into the hall. Kaboom. Makes me want to cry. This one was a bad one. I broke the toenail on my right pinky toe when it hit the doorframe. I'm squeamish about toenails and fingernails anyway. So when one gets pulled up or off, I'm liable to cry and throw up.

Wasn't there a Mickey Mouse cartoon where he pulls up the toenail of the Giant character? Or was it Bugs Bunny? Seems like I remember that somwhere in the back of my mind. They should never show that cartoon again.

Thankfully, this doesn't happen often at all. Maybe 27 or 28 times a month. Perhaps it's a sign from on High just to let me know I'm not as cool as I think I am. "You think you're such a good walker? Zap!" And Aquaman sends a command to the door jamb to reach out and grab my little toe.

God's got a wicked sense of humor.