Saturday, May 24, 2003

Oh my god if Cubs' reliever Mike Remlinger weren't so ugly, and male, I'd marry him.

Here's a fun joke:

If you have access to a jack in the box (the toy, not the eatery), put it in view of a group of people. Preferably a small group, 2-3 people.

A huge portion of the population is either single, without children or beyond the point in their lives where they have small children to play with the jack in the box. So most haven't played with one in a good period of time. So if one is put into their field of vision, they'll pick it up to play with it.

Now, get behind them if you can. As they turn the crank, watch intently. Right around the same time that the jack will jump out of the box, Scream! Scream loudly! RAAAH!!!!!!!!

One was at work tonight, and the manager and assistant manager were playing with one. I meant to make it look like I'd been scared silly by the jack jumping out of the box, but it had the added effect of making the two of them jump out of their socks.

I was muchly amused.

On the radio today, a sports commentator brought up a woman professional golfer other than Annika, and said she was ugly. He said she looked like if John Candy had made it with a goose.

Also, the sports commentator was saying that at some time in his life time, he expects to see a billion dollar professional sports contract.

A caller called in to respond to another question. I think they were talking about LeBron James' ridiculous contract from Nike. And the commentator asked the caller if he agreed that there would be a billion dollar contract in his life time.

The guy said, "No, I think the world economy will collapse before then. A by-product of that will be people realizing how worthless professional athletes and athletics really are."

The commentators were stunned into silence. And to be honest, the dire tone in his voice gave me serious pause, too.

I don't think anybody will ever lose faith in the importance of professional ice skating. If all others fall, we'll always have the triple-lutz.


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