A Recommendation

I'm going to give a "shout out" to Jim Dandy Smile's Apple Butter. Because it tastes good. And I think it's made with crack. Because in the space of a week I've eaten nearly 17 jars. And I think I shot a man tonight at the gas station. It's been like living a dream about wheatcakes. I don't think I've been sleeping, though. But I've not been awake either. I'm living in a liminal state, called South Dakota, and they aren't letting me gamble here because I don't have any money, and I'm not desperate enough to put out. Yet. My shoes are merely stapled together copies of the Guinness Book of World Records. I spent the better part of the evening trying to make sense out of an episode of Diff'rent Strokes, when my roommate told me that the television wasn't even on. I decided that if he wanted to, Eeyore could have kicked all their asses.

Eat it on toast. Or with your hands. Or drink it out of the jar. I don't really care, just so long as I have an unending supply. If you touch mine, I'll cut ya.