Clemens

The guys down in Houston are promising hookers for life for the Rocket if he comes out of his retirement to play for them.

Now, as a Cubs fan, I would definitely prefer not to see Clemens in an Astros uniform as any number starter for them. It's something I said to my Dad while watching the World Series, when the Marlins fans gave the Roger a standing ovation as he walked off the field (for what was, ostensibly, the last time). I said, "He's still better than 60% of everybody out there...his work ethic is better than 95%, and that alone would carry him another couple of seasons, if he wanted."

And say what you will about Roger, I've always felt like he's been pretty straight with the media. And if he's saying he wants to retire because he wants to spend time with his family, then I believe him.

Now the Astros are looking to give him some kind of Nolan Ryan-like deal, where he pitches mainly at home, and doesn't travel much with the team...which would allow him in theory to have his cake and eat it to. Gets to see the rugrats. Gets to play the beisbol.

As a Cubs fan who's constantly waiting for the other foot to drop, I'm pretty sure this and this alone would be enough to see Clemens in an Astros uniform next spring.

Except for one thing. And my roommate hit on this, and he's not even a big baseball fan anymore.

He asked, "Wouldn't he have to bat?"

See, that's always been the argument as to why guys like Clemens and Pedro "Pete Martin" Martinez have stayed in the comfy confines of the American League. The Designated Hitter Rule protects them and their intimidation tactics. And don't get me wrong....nothing wrong with intimidation, in my mind. If you're willing to back it up. Which is why I don't have a whole lot of respect for A.L. pitchers, in that regard.

Now, Kerry Wood? Kerry hit something like 914 batters in September alone. All of them "accidentally." Kerry's got to get up every ninth batter just like everybody else in the lineup. And he comports himself well. For a pitcher.

And Randy Johnson? Nobody throws at Randy Johnson. Because he might just reach all the way out from home plate, pick the offending pitcher up by the back of the jersey, and drop him into his cavernous maw, Return to Oz style.

I like Kerry Wood. I like The Big Unit (and I desperately wish that were my nickname).

I wonder if Roger's got the scrote.

Like I said....as a Cubs fan, I hope not. I hope he wants to stay home with his kids, like he says.

Ah well. Just rambling.