Thursday, December 11, 2003

Volunteer Tailgate Party XVII: Festivus Edition

Morning, folks. And Welcome to the Big Stupid Tommy blog. It's a pleasure to have you.

It's my turn to host our little celebration of the wares, writings, and wonderings of the Rocky Top Brigade.

And in doing so, I'm hoping to acquaint or re-acquaint you with the day my family celebrates each December 23rd at Casa de Big Stupid Tommy: Festivus

It was made famous on the TV program Seinfeld, but my family's been celebrating Festivus since the early 80's, when that whole Atari fiasco landed three members of the Big Stupid family in the County Klink for seven months......:

In deference to the show that made it famous, however, I'll allow Frank Costanza to explain:

Frank: Many Christmases ago, I went to buy a doll for my son. I reached for the last one they had -- but so did another man. As I rained blows upon him, I realized there had to be another way.

Kramer: What happened to the doll?

Frank: It was destroyed. But out of that, a new holiday was born -- a Festivus for the rest of us!


Festivus was born out of a disdain for the commercialism displayed by the major December holidays.

The three main aspects of the Festivus holiday are as follows:

1.) The Festivus Pole: Which must be tall, skinny, aluminum, and have a high strength to weight ratio. Also, it must not have tinsel, as that distracts from the true meaning of the holiday.

2.) The Airing of Grievances. It is here that you list all the ways your family has disappointed you in the past year.

3.) Feat of Strength. In which you show off your strength. Duh. Festivus is not over until the head of the family is pinned.

I. Now, we'll take the Festivus Pole as read. I'll just assume you all have the pole set up in your home, because I don't have time to drive all over this state, this nation, nor all the way to China to deliver Festivus poles to all the members of the Rocky Top Brigade.

II. And now, we move to the second stage of Festivus: The Airing of Grievances. This is where I invite the Rocky Top Brigade into my family's celebration:

And awaaay...we go.....

A Media Grievance

The first act on stage is from one of our newest members: Goobage. Today, Goobage has brought us a piece on the (relative, and often self-important) value of the newspaper in our society. It is entitled "Afflicting and Comforting." (You might need to scroll down)

Dry!!?!?!!!?!? The Alcohol Grievance

Next up, coming in all the way from McMinn County--a little reluctantly--is our old friend Eric, the Straight White Guy. He was unsure which of his wares to present, so at his behest, I've asked him to present his thoughts on living in a dry county....

And in the interest of lubricating this Holiday Season (Christmas, Festivus, what have you....), Eric also gives us his recipe for mulled wine......

(I remind you that drinking on BST facilities is actually welcomed....it tends to hinder hand-eye coordination, and actually makes our guests fit in a little better with the host)

A Buddy Don Grievance

And now that everybody has the means to properly relax, we'll ask the Wandering Hillbilly wander up on stage. BuddyDon's brought a couple of wonderful pieces this morning for us to enjoy. As MC, I can do him little justice in describing his work, so I'll let him do the honors:

thankee fer doin this. i gut two to send along, bofem bout the war over in iraq:

firstuns takes off frum sun tzus art of war, witch its called 'the art of war'

secunts entitled 'ye cant win harts n minds with bullets'

Thanks agin


Thanks to you, Buddy Don....

A Politically Correct Semantic Shift Grievance

And now, we have another new RTB member, and she's attending her first Volunteer Tailgate Party!

Janet Dagley Dagley brings us this post from her Dagley Dagley Daily:
"Have yourself a Louisiana little Christmas," in which linguistic semantics are discussed, and how little things like school, holidays and civil unions are affected.....

Getting in Over Your Head

It's not a grievance so much, but it expresses something of a disappointment, and perhaps a lesson learned. From Shots Across the Bow, Rich Hailey sends us this recounting of his adventures on the ski slopes.

Racism in Academia Grievance

Aaron Chapman, at The Golden Calf, brings us a thought on the racism on the higher halls of Academia.

Voting Machine Grievance

From the Granny Rant Blog, we have a trio of inter-related grievances to be aired.

The first post concerns who knew what, along with what threats were leveled, with the makers of electronic voting machines Diebold.

The second post continues the thoughts of the first, with further information imparted about memos concerning the software.

And the last concerns what Congressional action is being taken concerning all this.

Say Uncle's List

It was once said, mostly in jest, that Say Uncle the only things he ends up talking about on his site are guns and dogs.

Well, in what is perhaps an effort to change perceptions, he offers this nicely put together piece on Who's Responsible for 9/11.

He also recently offered his thoughts on Corn Bread, which is not a grievance, though a very minor tempest arose surrounding sugar.

Just to show he's not strayed completely from his roots: a dog post, this time responding to reader e-mail.

The "Exactly What Is a Jedi?" Grievance

Les Jones offers up a subject near to my own heart, as he gives us a thought or two on the changing nature of Star Wars, and what exactly a Jedi is....

An Airing of a Blog Grievance, of sorts

In which Adam Groves calls Glenn Reynolds a geek....and still gets an instalanche for his trouble.....

The Filthy Hippy's Favorite New Album

In which the Hippy offers his thoughts concerning the debut rap album from Master of the Squared Circle, Randy "Macho Man" Savage.

I can't tell if he's being sarcastic or not.

We're Supposedly Equals, But We Aren't All Treated That Way Grievance

Mike Hollihan, at Half-Bakered, in an excellent post tells of his personal experiences with the church, and his anger and confusion at being excluded from the government, based on his beliefs in Discrimination Most of You Won't Care About. (It's the third post from December 5....you'll need to scroll down).

Not a Grievance, but a Question

Barry, at the Inn of the Last Home, asks A Question that has begun some debate on his site. (December 3).

Creepy Crawly Christmas Grievance

Teresa, at Hatamaran hits upon one of my favorite things about the Holiday season: the Memories....except I've never had a tree decoration go so horribly, and creepily, awry....

The Steel Grievance

AlphaPatriot tells us everything we might ever want to know concerning the recent issue with the Steel Tariffs, in The Steely Truth: Everything You Wanted to Know About the Steel Tariffs, but Were Afraid to Ask.

The China Grievance

Okay. Here's the deal. I learned by reading Voluntarily in China's Submission "The Other Great Wall of China" (from Thursday, the 11th) that blogger Tennessee Ruck, who is among the newest members of the RTB, cannot read this blog, nor any other hosted on blogspot, unless he goes through a proxy server. And while I can revel in the fact that BST is a threat to Red China, it's a small reminder of what we enjoy here in the States.

Two posts down, the second post from December 10, Ruck Comments on There's Even a Tennessean Who Says.... Concerning the line in a recent media article on the RTB, in which he responds to the statement "a Tennessean who says he blogs from China."

The Orwell/Leftist/Non-Thinking Grievance

Guy Montag offers a really great post from his journal, entitled: On Orwell, the Good Guy Left and the Non-Thinkers, lamenting, among other things, politically correct language and the dumbing down of what was once the great thinking class in America....

The BCS Grievance

CJ at Up for Anything relates a shocking turn of events concerning Major League Baseball! You know, where they used to do crazy things like decide championships on the field. It's nice to see them model their season after the perfectly and completely logical Bowl Championship Series...read it all in a post called Braves Win! Braves Win!

No Grievance here...Compassionate Capitalism

Mr. Lawson for a good cause: Compassionate Capitalism

Remembrance

Also not a grievance....suddenly wanting to re-think the whole Festivus theme.....

Peggy at A Moveable Beast, with an eloquent thought or two one what Christmas means to her....'Tis the Season.

Weblog Award Grievance

At Resonance, we find Brian Arner railing against the voting page used in the on-going Weblog Awards. "I want Resonance," cried Britney Ford, age 5, of Houston. So do we, Britney. So do we.....

the Political Process Grievance

Over at Rebel Yell, Stoney takes issue with Pips, PooPs, the voting public in general, and I think I detect a subtle dislike of Jay Leno, in his comments on The Political Process

The Chomsky Grievance

In a first-time entry into the VTP, Mark at The Conservative Zone talks of Chomsky, privelage and life in general, in This is Getting Fun....

The Rich Girls Grievance

I picked out this little rant Danielle made at Missives Anonymous, because it made me laugh. It's an open letter to MTV, and to Alison and Jaime of MTV's Rich Girls....and I think it's something of a commentary on just how low this whole reality TV thing has gone. Danielle just calls it Rant.

The Career/Health Grievance

And because I don't think enough people are reading Mind Warp, (and because he sent me boobs in my e-mail yesterday) I picked out Butchmule's double commentary: Firstly, a bit of a grievance about work, and how you describe your career isn't necessarily the way somebody else does....and also a bit of a scary incident with his health...all in a post called Careers, for What It's Worth....

The Janklow Grievance

I found a post I liked off of SKBubba's blog....about the now-guilty Congressman Janklow, and the insulting diabetic defense he used in his trial....

And Lastly....My Grievance

Let me say first, that as much as I gripe and moan, I actually have very much to be thankful for, and very little to despair, when you get down to it.

But in the tradition of the Festivus holiday, from my house to yours, here now, the Big Stupid Tommy Grievances:

The Cornbread Grievance

and

The Christmas Decoration Grievance....which is not a grievance so much, but I thought it was pretty funny.....

Here endeth the scripture lesson.

Which brings us to the close of VTPXVII:

III. The Feat of Strength

Before we get to the Feat of Strength....I want to say thanks for coming, for reading. I enjoyed hosting this Volunteer Tailgate Party. I'm constantly impressed by the number of intelligent, well-spoken, good writing folks we have in our little group....today's VTP was no exception.

Thanks to all those in the Rocky Top Brigade who sent posts in, and thanks (and possibly apologies) to those who let me choose posts for them.

Also, if I have accidentally left anybody who sent me anything, or have linked incorrectly to you, please let me know....I'll change it as soon as is possible.

Lastly, let me give a note of thanks to Bill McCabe, from whom I took the Festivus links.

And now: As Host and Head of Household, I issue an open thumb-wrestling challenge to any member of the brigade who wants to come to Murfreesboro and knock me off my perch. Two out of three falls, Brazilian rules.

Thanks guys.

Update: I added in a post I liked from SKBubba, who got a little busy this holiday season......

Update 2: Changed wording on "The China Grievance" to clear up my own confusion.....

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