Missionaries

Got woken up by missionaries this evening. Nice boys, but not too bright, I think. No lights were on in the apartment, and there were no signs anybody was home, yet they knocked so insistently that I stupidly answered the door, thinking something was possibly wrong, and people were trying to tell me something.

I guess, technically, they were trying to tell me something. But I don't know why they had to knock on the door like the apartment was on fire, or something. I guess that's something they teach in Missionary School. You know, get their attention...once the victims message recipients realize that there is no immediate danger, they'll be glad it's just a couple of well-behaved boys in ties.

Still, these boys took the whole people living in darkness need the salvation most of all a little too seriously. I'm pretty good with the Almighty, I think. I was living in darkness because, well, I was asleep. And I think missionaries need to take this into account.

Or maybe I should just post a sign: "Sleeps Days" on the door. Or "Angry, and Sleeps Days."

I did feel kind of bad for them, though. I was half asleep, and anything they said to me had to wade its way through a foggy swamp of sleepy incomprehension. It was like everything said was on satellite delay...they'd say it, and two seconds later, then I would understand it.

And at one point, when they explained what group they were representing, I laughed at the image in my head of a rock group called Jesus Christ and the Latter Day Saints.

I didn't get ill with them, though. Another day, I might have. But today I just took the stance that they're doing what they do, and nine times out of ten, I probably either would have been awake already, or would have just slept right through it. And they're just doing what they do.

However, I had to tell them no Three times. That's a lot. That's as bad as credit card telemarketers. And telemarketers are my enemy. That's the big thing that irked me....you should only ask twice, and go on about your business. Leave a card, and go on. It's good for business, why can't it work for the church?

They did leave their card, and after they left I considered scheduling an appointment for the roommate, because he's heathen. But they'd probably come at another inconvenient time, and I'd have to answer the door, because the roommate sleeps like the dead.

So. To recap. Woken up by Missionaries. Sleep during the day. Need a sign. Didn't kill the Mormons. They just do what they do. They left a card. It's all good.

I'm Big Stupid Tommy, and you might say this has been The Missionary Position.