Otis
You know, Otis Nixon came up in conversation the other day.
You know Otis, right? Former Major League speedster. Nice glove in center. Played for the Braves for a while, when they were first getting good in the early 90's. Ugly. Ugly as home-made sin.
I once got beer dumped all over my by this crazy drunk girl at Atlanta Fulton County Stadium, as she screamed her heart, lungs and liver out for her favorite player, Otis Nixon. I was like 14, and this girl in the row behind me decided that Otis was cute (I did say she was drunk, but the argument for her being either blind or stupid would be strong), and spent most of time from the third inning on screaming as loud as her voice and lungs would allow for Otis.
In her defense, yelling "Otis" is fun. Next time you're at work, wander the hallways yelling for Otis. Or even out in the parking lot. And when somebody asks you who Otis is, don't answer them...just walk away in a huff muttering something about how "that ugly summamabitch better get here now."
But along about the seventh inning, she really got into the scream, and decided to gesticulate wildly while screaming for Otis (which is only proper)....and ended up flinging her beer all over me. But I understood. Because A.) it was cheap Kool-Aid Concession Stand Beer and B.) It was Otis.
Well, I bring this all up, because Otis has been charged with misdemeanor sexual battery.
Poor Otis. Ugly man just trying to make his way with the ladies, and they go and call the cops! Can't nobody get a break these days, least of all Otis!
How ugly was Otis? You know when they flash a player's picture up on the big jumbo screen with his stats? The noise from 30,000 people going "Ewww" all at once got to Otis' self esteem and his average started dropping, so they just started showing pictures of Otis fielding his position....usually taken from a safe distance of 400 feet or more away.
And as far as the coincidence of my talking about him, and then his coming up with his legal troubles?
I think Otis stays in some manner of trouble. I think he's probably had more run-ins with the law than I've had hot meals, so it's not that big a thing. Seems like every three months I'm running into some story about the poor guy being hassled by The Man.
You know, Otis Nixon came up in conversation the other day.
You know Otis, right? Former Major League speedster. Nice glove in center. Played for the Braves for a while, when they were first getting good in the early 90's. Ugly. Ugly as home-made sin.
I once got beer dumped all over my by this crazy drunk girl at Atlanta Fulton County Stadium, as she screamed her heart, lungs and liver out for her favorite player, Otis Nixon. I was like 14, and this girl in the row behind me decided that Otis was cute (I did say she was drunk, but the argument for her being either blind or stupid would be strong), and spent most of time from the third inning on screaming as loud as her voice and lungs would allow for Otis.
In her defense, yelling "Otis" is fun. Next time you're at work, wander the hallways yelling for Otis. Or even out in the parking lot. And when somebody asks you who Otis is, don't answer them...just walk away in a huff muttering something about how "that ugly summamabitch better get here now."
But along about the seventh inning, she really got into the scream, and decided to gesticulate wildly while screaming for Otis (which is only proper)....and ended up flinging her beer all over me. But I understood. Because A.) it was cheap Kool-Aid Concession Stand Beer and B.) It was Otis.
Well, I bring this all up, because Otis has been charged with misdemeanor sexual battery.
Poor Otis. Ugly man just trying to make his way with the ladies, and they go and call the cops! Can't nobody get a break these days, least of all Otis!
How ugly was Otis? You know when they flash a player's picture up on the big jumbo screen with his stats? The noise from 30,000 people going "Ewww" all at once got to Otis' self esteem and his average started dropping, so they just started showing pictures of Otis fielding his position....usually taken from a safe distance of 400 feet or more away.
And as far as the coincidence of my talking about him, and then his coming up with his legal troubles?
I think Otis stays in some manner of trouble. I think he's probably had more run-ins with the law than I've had hot meals, so it's not that big a thing. Seems like every three months I'm running into some story about the poor guy being hassled by The Man.
posted by Tommy at
18:33
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