The Friday Five

Mmmmm....Friday Five.....

If you...

1. ...owned a restaurant, what kind of food would you serve?

Various eggs. And whiskey.

2. ...owned a small store, what kind of merchandise would you sell?

One of my favorite things to say when I'm pissed here lately is that I'm going to open a store that sells asswhuppings. Because everyone seems to need one.

But that's a lie.

I'd sell Doritos.

3. ...wrote a book, what genre would it be?

Romance, definitely.

A horror/romance.

A horror/romantic comedy.

A horror/romantic comedy/biography.

A horror/romantic comedy/biography/history of Paraguay.

A horror/roma......

Actually, it would be about the Religious teachings we find in the Dukes of Hazzard, and I think we all knew that without my even having to answer the question.

4. ...ran a school, what would you teach?

Monkey Shovelling. My office hours are from 9:45 until 12, except on Thursdays.

5. ...recorded an album, what kind of music would be on it?

Bagpipes. Lots of Bagpipes.