Sunday, March 13, 2005

Random Thoughts on the Weekend

Random Thoughts on the Weekend

I write tonight with a thunderstorm lurking over the hills, growling, grumbling and kicking purple lighting into the sky.

It's not really the type of night you'd want a cold front coming through you're neck of the woods. We've had a couple of excellently warm days the past couple of days. Much, much warmer than had been predicted the last time I'd heard anything from the weather goobs, Thursday or so. I'd gone into the weekend expecting 40's as the high....Saturday was up in the 70's, and this morning it was as high as 65 before the clouds started rolling in.

A cold air mass pushing into an area of warm air creates rough weather. Tornadic activity isn't rare in this neck of the woods. They're one of those deep-seeded fears in my psyche, tornadoes are.

In fact, the list of my terrors goes like this:

1. Tornadoes
2. Mr. T
3. Bears
4. Midgets
5. Midget Bears.
6. Midget Mr. T's.
7. Radio Personalities.

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I went out into Middle Tennessee this weekend, to see friends. Like I said, we had a couple of wonderfully warm days to enjoy.

We enjoyed the weather, but we also spent a little time indoors (the night time), watching a couple of movies.

We watched The Jacket.

I have two lines of thought on this flick.

First, as a movie fan, I thought it was a good movie, but not great. It involves one too many leaps of faith, both on the part of the viewer and on the part of characters within the movie, for it to be considered very good. I liked it, with reservations.

However, BSTommy, the horndog Keira Knightley fan, gives this movie his highest possible recommendation. For the several of you who reach this site by searching for nude pictures of Keira Knightley, I've got no pictures for you. But I do recommend that you go see the movie The Jacket. It's the movie for you.

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I've never seen the Kelsey Grammer Sketch Comedy Show. I will not watch it. Ever.

I have no doubt that it will still be running when Arrested Development is having its season shortened in the name of the same old joke from Seth McFarland and a 3-night-a-week karaoke contest.

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My friend Jason's house has the lowest sitting toilets I've ever seen. Seriously. I mean, doing your duty there would require going into a catcher's crouch.

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Dave Attel's line from Arrested Development on Tobias: If he's straight, I'm sober....that cracked me up.

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The trailers for Sin City look pretty cool.

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I leave you with this joke, which is pretty stupid, but it made me smile:

There are two Mexicans who have been lost in the desert for weeks and they're at death's door. As they stumble on, hoping for salvation in the form of an oasis or something similar, they suddenly spy through the heat haze a tree off in the distance.

As they get closer they can see that the tree is draped with rasher upon rasher of bacon. There's smoked bacon, crispy bacon, life giving juicy nearly- raw bacon, all sorts.

"Hey, Pepe" says the first bloke "Ees a bacon tree!!! We're saved!!!"

"You're right, amigo!" says Pepe.

So Pepe goes on ahead and runs up to the tree salivating at the prospect of food. But as he gets to within five feet of the tree, there's the sound of machine gun fire, and he is shot down in a hail of bullets.

His friend quickly drops down on the sand and calls across to the dying Pepe.
"Pepe!! Pepe!! Que pasa hombre?"

With his ! dying breath Pepe calls out... "Ugh, run, amigo, run!! Ees not a Bacon Treee.

"Ees" "Ees" "Ees... a.... Ham bush!"

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