Today's Funny
Today's Funny
It's two-fer Tuesday.
Stumpy and his wife Martha went to the state fair every year. Every year Stumpy would say, "Martha, I'd like to ride in that there airplane."
And every year Martha would say, "I know Stumpy, but that airplane ride costs ten dollars, and ten dollars is ten dollars."
One year Stumpy and Martha went to the fair and Stumpy said, "Martha, I'm 71 years old. If I don't ride that airplane this year I may never get another chance."
Martha replied, "Stumpy, that there airplane ride costs ten dollars, and ten dollars is ten dollars."
The pilot overheard them and said, "Folks, I'll make you a deal, I'll take you both up for a ride. If you can stay quiet for the entire ride and not say one word, I won't charge you, but if you say one word it's ten dollars."
Stumpy and Martha agreed and up they went. The pilot did all kinds of twists and turns, rolls and dives, but not a word was heard. He did all his tricks over again, but still not a word. They landed and the pilot turned to Stumpy, "By golly, I did everything I could think of to get you to yell out, but you didn't."
Stumpy replied, "Well, I was gonna say something when Martha fell out, but ten dollars is ten dollars."
Wokka.
And:
A duck walks into a bar one day at lunch time. He orders a beer and a ham sandwich. The next day, the duck walks in, and orders the same. After several days of the same lunch order the bartender says "Never saw a duck eat lunch in here before."
The duck replies, "Well get used to it. I'm working on the construction job across the street."
A few days later the circus comes to town and the ringmaster comes into the bar for lunch. The bartender tells him about the talking duck that drinks beer and eats sandwichs. The ringmaster asks the bartender to send the duck down to the circus for a job.
The next day the duck comes in and the bartender tells him about the job offer. The duck looks surprised and asks "The circus is where animals do tricks inside a big tent right?" The bartender agrees.
"Nah," The duck says, "What the hell would they need with a drywaller?"
Wokka Wokka.
It's two-fer Tuesday.
Stumpy and his wife Martha went to the state fair every year. Every year Stumpy would say, "Martha, I'd like to ride in that there airplane."
And every year Martha would say, "I know Stumpy, but that airplane ride costs ten dollars, and ten dollars is ten dollars."
One year Stumpy and Martha went to the fair and Stumpy said, "Martha, I'm 71 years old. If I don't ride that airplane this year I may never get another chance."
Martha replied, "Stumpy, that there airplane ride costs ten dollars, and ten dollars is ten dollars."
The pilot overheard them and said, "Folks, I'll make you a deal, I'll take you both up for a ride. If you can stay quiet for the entire ride and not say one word, I won't charge you, but if you say one word it's ten dollars."
Stumpy and Martha agreed and up they went. The pilot did all kinds of twists and turns, rolls and dives, but not a word was heard. He did all his tricks over again, but still not a word. They landed and the pilot turned to Stumpy, "By golly, I did everything I could think of to get you to yell out, but you didn't."
Stumpy replied, "Well, I was gonna say something when Martha fell out, but ten dollars is ten dollars."
Wokka.
And:
A duck walks into a bar one day at lunch time. He orders a beer and a ham sandwich. The next day, the duck walks in, and orders the same. After several days of the same lunch order the bartender says "Never saw a duck eat lunch in here before."
The duck replies, "Well get used to it. I'm working on the construction job across the street."
A few days later the circus comes to town and the ringmaster comes into the bar for lunch. The bartender tells him about the talking duck that drinks beer and eats sandwichs. The ringmaster asks the bartender to send the duck down to the circus for a job.
The next day the duck comes in and the bartender tells him about the job offer. The duck looks surprised and asks "The circus is where animals do tricks inside a big tent right?" The bartender agrees.
"Nah," The duck says, "What the hell would they need with a drywaller?"
Wokka Wokka.
posted by Tommy at
10:17
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