The Big Show Loves Apple Butter With a Passion

The Big Show Loves Apple Butter With a Passion

Jim Ross, in his blog, makes a note of The Big Show's announcement of a sabbatical. Good reading, from Good Ol' J.R. And in that post, I learned that I have something in common with the self-proclaimed Big Nasty Bastard.

I quote Jim Ross: THE BIG SHOW LOVES APPLE BUTTER WITH A PASSION.

I quote it the way he wrote it. I like to imagine my favorite wrasslin' writing that, and as he's writing it, he doesn't scream it, but his face and eyes light up with the intent to scream. And also, he probably typed those words REALLY HARD.

Anyway. The point:

I too love Apple Butter with a Passion.

My feeble and diminuitive lexicon denies me the ability to appropriately and adequately wordify my love of Apple Butter.

But rest assured. There are only three things greater on this planet than my love of Apple Butter. They are:

1. The tonnage that is Mount Everest.
2. The vaunted Power of Chuck Norris.
3. The mysterious legend of the Gorton's Fisherman.

Anyway. My love for Apple Butter knows no bounds. I do much of what I do in a day because of Apple Butter.

Also, I have two midgets who do my bidding. Their names are Pygmalion and Marvin. They, by extension, do everything they do because of Apple Butter.

But things have been in a funk, here lately, at Casa de Big Stupid Tommy.

See, we'd set a date, Apple Butter and I.

In June of 2007, Apple Butter and I were to be married.

But because of the hilarity that is Tennessee State politics, my fellow Tennesseans decided to support an Amendment to our state Constitution supporting marriage as a union between a man and a woman.

Guess where that leaves me and my Apple Butter?

Thank you very much, Democracy.

But then, I probably would have gone about trying to turn people to my way of thinking. Corrupting the youth of Americaland, and whatnot. I'd planned much of 2008-2011 for that, actually.

Try the apple butter. You'll like it.

You may even love it.