Thursday, August 23, 2007



I got home from work last night, and brought up Sportsline's site, to look at the scores of the day. I went with the intention that if the Cubs weren't done in San Francisco, I'd jump over to MLB's site to watch the rest of the game on their feed. Don't ask me why I don't just go there first, since they have scores, too. I never once claimed to be a logical sumbitch.

Anyway, at first glance at the day's scores, I thought that some asswipe at CBS sports had decided to put exhibition football scores on the site's ticker, instead of baseball. I saw a final score of 30-3.

I was about to scream "bullshit" at the top of my lungs, which no doubt would have come muchly to the chagrine of my neighbors, when I noticed that it was indeed a baseball score.

"Huh," I said to myself. "I can't remember anybody ever scoring 30 runs."

Granted, my memory is a shoddy, swiss cheesy thing. I stood outside the Wal-Mart the other day for a couple seconds before realizing that I hadn't parked outside the door I'd come out of. So, memory's maybe not my strong suit.

Anyway, research on the subject bore out that indeed, I hadn't seen 30 runs in my life time. In fact, they hadn't seen 30 runs in my grandparents' lifetime.

Now, I didn't see the game. I have only a box score to go by, so somebody should correct me if I'm wrong.

Why the hell didn't somebody on the Orioles staff plunk a Ranger or two?

Realizing, of course, the Orioles were in the tough position of having to save pitchers for the second game of the double header, and given the disposition of today's umpire to toss a guy if he gets within a batter's personal space.

But if your team is giving up a tenspot just an inning or two after giving up nine? Plunk a guy between the shoulders to back them off the plate. Take a little control, if only because you've got a second game to play that day, and you might be able to salvage some respectability out of the day.

Sure, you'll get tossed, most likely. But if I'm the Orioles, I then put an outfielder in to pitch for a couple innings. It'd be hard for him to do much worse than the pitchers already were.

Fact of the matter is, I have no attachment at all to the Baltimore Orioles, any of the players or anything having to do with their organization. But somehow, as a baseball fan, I was embarrassed for them. No major league team should have 30 put up on them.

Unless it's the Yankees. Then, it'd be hilarious.

Anyway. This is neither here nor there, but I'd like to close that for the first part of my baseball fandom, early in my childhood, I thought that the team was called the Baltimore Oreos.

Because that's what I thought my Dad was saying. Baltimore Oreos.

That might have been what he was saying. Dad sure does like cookies.


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