Dear ESPN

Dear ESPN

Dear ESPN,

Hi, how are you? I'm fine.

Except to say that there's nothing like nearly puking your breakfast sandwich while ESPN does a super slo-mo of Damion Easley rolling his ankle in last night's game.

Thanks, ESPN, for reminding me of the days of yore, when your programming wasn't dedicated to shilling for your other programs; those days when you'd fill the time by spending several minutes disecting Jason Kendall breaking his leg with several super slo-mo spots, including hi def close-ups of the bone popping through the leg.

Seriously, though. Not cool. If I could choose, I'd choose neither shilling for your own programming nor super slo-mo disections of stomach-turning injuries obtained on the playing field.

Perhaps you could spend time talking about a certain team in the Central Division of the National League holding on to first place for a second straight day!!!!1!

!!!!

Just saying.

Your pal,

Dr. Abdul "Larry" Montana, PhD Big Stupid Tommy