A Plank in my Platform...

A Plank in my Platform...

I'm not sure that I'll ever run for office. For one, I don't like people, and for two, I don't like responsibility.

But in the case that I do, I'd like to have a platform to stand on.

And herein, I nail the first plank...

If elected, I vow to hunt down any and all persons looking to start "The Wave" at a baseball game, and have them dipped in pine tar, rolled in Dippin' Dots Ice Cream, and set before C.C. Sabathia."

That last part's not funny.

Let me try again....if elected, I will make starting the wave at a baseball game a capital offense, with yours, truly being the sole arbiter of your being right or, most likely, wrong.

So, watch the game. Do not stand in front of me while trying to start the Wave.

I need powers of vaporization.