Just a note to Madison Avenue:

I like what you've done in the way of humor in your commercials. That one Lycos.com commercial, where the guy becomes best friends with John Elway...that's classic. When John gets the cat out of the tree by hurling a football at it...that's genius. I should know. I was once hailed as a genius. For about five minutes. In the third grade.

And I'm strangely intrigued by these commercials for The Gap, where all the "pretty people" are singing "Love Train." It just sucks me in. I can't look away. I can't explain this, because I was never, ever hailed as a pretty person.

However, somebody has a lot to answer for these Old Navy commercials where they're playing what looks like Family Feud. And if the commercial isn't bad enough, it seems to run on every commercial break of every television show I watch. Whether it's Wrestling or Mama's Family, there are those bozos in Fleece Pullovers playing the Feud. Will it be enough if I burn down every Old Navy store?