Wednesday, May 14, 2003

What was that mystery food?

There was a mystery food at the Shoney's breakfast bar. Here are the facts:

1. It was processed into sticks about three inches long and an inch wide.

2. The insides were meat. Not bread. Meat. Conjecture at this point: Fish Sticks. But on the Breakfast Bar?

3. Its insides were white.

4. Here it gets scary. Its texture was neither fish nor chicken. Its breaded exterior was the toughest part.

5. The taste was the most confusing part. It had none of its own. It tasted like the vegetable oil it was fried in.

Normally, I don't pick something off the breakfast bar if I can't immediately recognize it. Bill got his first, and we discussed it. He ate all his.

On my second voyage, I picked one of my own deep-fried mystery meat bars. Bill was able to eat the whole thing without immediate incident. I ate one bite, and was too confused by the complete lack of sensory information in my mouth. It wasn't bad tasting. But the lack of absolute indentification of the mystery meat didn't make it a pleasant experience, either.

This is an important life's lesson boys and girls.

I'm not sure what that lesson is.

But rest assured, I learned a lot.


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