The Pairings Are Up

1. The Scene in Blazing Saddles when Mongo rides into town on his bull.
16. Sam's Choice Diet Cola

8. The new neighbor (she's from France)
9. Her roommate (she's from Japan)

5. Grand Theft Auto III
12. An old Rotary Telephone

4. 1831
13. Ernie singing "Rubber Ducky"

3. William Faulkner's The Unvanquished
14. The Filthy Hippy Speaks.

6. Back Hair
11. The University of Delaware

7. A Cheeseburger that is Actually an Android!
10. "I stubbed my little toe," he sobbed.

2. Ordering Pizza for Supper, and then eating the leftover for breakfast
15. A Cement Mixer filled with Gin.

The Groundrules

1. The Competition will start promptly at 9 AM on Tuesday the 2nd, behind the K-Mart on Broad Street.

1a. In the event of damnations, tournament will be held in the BOB.

2. No betting on the tournament floor.

3. Scoring will be based on the Watercress Standard, with variations allowed for beer-league softball and the number 11.

4. And due to unpleasantness in July's competition, all judgments in scoring will now be rendered by a three-man staff (Gordon Shumway, the late Jim Varney and a third party to be elected the morning of the proceedings).