Here's What I Did Today

--Got up around 10:30 PM on the 13th.

--Went to movie store. Went to gas station. Went to grocery store when gas station didn't have the tasty salty snacks that I wanted.

--Played on internet. For Days.

--Watched The Twelve Chairs. Mel Brooks writes and directs. Definitely different from Blazing Saddles and Young Frankenstein....it's closer in tone to The Producers. It's okay, but not great. Dom Deluise screaming about how beautiful a chair is before he smashes it on a rock....that's funny. The rest of the movie should have learned from him.

--Watched Heroic Trio. Kind of a kung fu superhero flick. Didn't care for it. I mean, sure, Michelle Yeoh and Maggie Cheung are hot and all, but it's a bad English dub, and the wirework is really shoddy. I turned it off after an hour of not really paying attention to it.

--Rectified three different things on the complaint list from yesterday.

--Took a nap. Dreamt about pine trees. I dunno.

--Did the laundry. Found fifty cents on top of the dryer, so it was kind of like winning the lottery. I need to consult the Baptists as to whether I'm going to Hell or not.

--Watched Lost in Translation. It's not a bad movie. A bit of a chick flick, but Bill Murray's pretty good, and I thought Scarlett Johansson was even better. Bill's got a conversation in the movie with an old man in the waiting room of the hospital, one that looks largely improvised, and had me rolling on the floor laughing. I think the whole cast of The Twelve Chairs could learn something from Bill.

--During the movie, I was adjusting things, and I noticed a very large hole had opened up in the crotch of my blue jeans. Travesty of travesties. Good thing I was wearing the undies. It's a little late (or extremely early) to put the decorative balls on display in public.

--One of the fellers running for Assessor of Property in Rutherford County's name is Bill D. Boner. To me, what Bill D. Boner should have on his campaign signs as his animated mascot is completely obvious: A giant Grizzly Bear ripping the entrails out of some animal he's chased down. With a slogan along the lines of: "Property Taxes--You're Next!" Written in a style that looks like smeared blood. Or something equally catchy.

But that's just me.