Dog Food for 60 Cents

Big Cans. Big cans of Dog Food. Pedigree. The good stuff. Not that Skippy shit, that they make out of sawdust and carpet scraps. Pedi-Damn-Gree.

Different varieties. Chunky Chicken. Lamb and Rice. Turkey and Bacon. The mind boggles.

I mean, Pedigree has stuff that vaguely resembles what's being advertised on the can, in the can. I mean, if it says Turkey, it's like the dangly thing on the turkey's chin, and the toes, but it's turkey!

And by Gorsh, that Country Stew looks just like people food!!!!!!!

It's being closed out. I don't know if they're getting new Pedigree, or if they're getting a different brand.

I don't care.

Because, I've hit the mother lode.

It's on closeout. Should I share? Or should I just splurge, and spend my entire lottery scratchoff ticket winnings ($77) on closed out big giant cans of dog food?

I carry around 20 cans, while I look at the paper plates and the flushable wipes with the aloe on them that get you cleaner than regular Charmin, and I do the math in my head.

20 x .60 = $12.

I am astounded at my mathmagical abilities.

Even more that I can buy more dog food.

In all, there are 72 cans that are being closed out.

Three meals a day.

Tommy's eating good for the next 24 days.

Share schmare. Sometimes, ya gots to fend for yourself.

(Big Stupid Tommy, Mathmagician).