Last Day....

Last Day....

Alright all you last-second bidders, today's the day. I know you've been watching for a week, biding your time, waiting for the perfect moment.

Today's the Day.

You have approximately 12 hours, as of this writing, to go buy an authentic piece of Big Stupid Tommy Memorabilia! Right now, the bidding is at the affordable, affordable price of $3.25

Jump on this investment opportunity! What if I become famous? I could write a book! What if I become infamous? I could throw up on the President!

Then, you'd have a piece of memorabilia from Way Back When Tommy hadn't yet thrown up on the President!

Yeah. And you could re-sell it for beaucoup dollars (shekels).

If you were to ask me what to do, I'd say "Bid Now, Bill Gates."

And I'd hope to God that you were Bill Gates, and could bid $1,000,000. Of course, he'd have to get into a bidding war with somebody else who wanted to bid that high. Perhaps Allen Iverson.

Allen Iverson and Bill Gates should get into a bidding war over my napkin today. Allen, since playing basketball for the USA isn't a priority, will have plenty of spare time today to bid. And Bill Gates will get his Loyal Crimson Guard to do his bidding, which today would include bidding on Ebay, on a napkin used by me.

But don't let all this Bill Gates talk discourage you. He's a very busy man. And all Allen Iverson knows is thugaball, not Ebay.

So you get in there and bid, too, Julia Roberts and Will Smith.

Bid now!!!!!!!!!!