I'm trying to wake up

I'm trying to wake up

I'll answer one of these things, from Right Thinking Girl, seen at Sheila's:

1. If you were a writer, what kinds of books would you write?

Is that some kind of shot at my laziness? I'm serious. I'll fight you.

2. Do you expect to ever be famous in your lifetime? If yes, what do you expect to be famous for?

I expect to be harmlessly infamous. I expect that at some point in the future, a famous photo will be taken somewhere in the world. Think something like Jack Ruby shooting Lee Harvey Oswald, or perhaps that photo of the kiss between the girl and the guy returning from WW2. In this photo, I'll be in the background, but I'll be doing something mildly embarrassing. I'll be mid-bite on a hot dog, or I'll have just spilled something/had something spilled on my crotch, making it look like I pissed myself.

So it'll be a famous picture of the next president helping the old guy who's fallen, but everybody's eye for years will be unconsciously drawn to me, standing in the background, with a big giant pee stain on my pants.

3. Say something liberal.

I hates me some conservatives. They're bad for America.

4. Say something conservative.

I hates me some liberals. They're bad for America.

5. What did you dream about last night?

I don't remember any of last night's. Which is weird for me.

6. What have you read this week? Include everything: magazines, emails, blogs, books, etc.

I'm still reading on Bill Bryson's The Mother Tongue. I started Christopher Moore's Fluke.

I've read the local newspaper a couple of times, especially on Tuesday, which is the day the locals Sound Off in phoned-in snippets on the opinion page.

I got a collection of J. Michael Stracynski's Supreme Power comic, and I read that one yesterday morning. The new Detective Comics. The big Countdown to Crisis thing that DC did, where Max Lord kills the Blue Beetle (which was something of a letdown for this old Keith Giffen Justice League fan). More Comics: Joe Lansdale's Dead in the West and Warren Ellis's Ministry of Space

And one more thing that will need its own post to discuss.

7. Tell me about your worst date ever.

My worst date was made bad by me. I'll just say that it involved a screening of the movie Blues Brothers 2000, and the fact that when I get nervous, I get obnoxious. I was very nervous.

8. Name three of your bad habits and three of your good habits.

Bad:
I can't seem to get the dirty laundry into a hamper.
I don't eat as well as I should.
I dwell on regrets. (Sheila wrote that one, but it works for me...but I'm working on it...)

Good:
I'm polite
I keep the fingernails trimmed. It's the only grooming habit I obsess over.
I drink a lot of water.

9. Tell me something you're very proud of.

No prison for me. To this point.

10. Give me a piece of wisdom that I should pass on to Parker Grace (who is now twelve weeks old).

Don't take things personally. Anything.

See if somebody follows their own advice, if they're giving it to you.

Some people are just pricks. They're unhappy, and they can't stand that you are happy. They're too cowardly to live their own lives. They, consciously or unconsciously, want you to screw things up in your own life so they don't feel so bad about their failings. Fuck them.