List: Things I do that Piss Me Off

List: Things I do that piss me off

This is, by no means, exhaustive or complete.

1. Hide the remote control.

Dude! Put the frigging thing back on the table where it goes. Why is it in the bathroom? What good is a remote control if it's sitting next to the TV? I don't even want to talk about the time in college when, for whatever reason, I put the remote in my coat pocket, and then didn't wear the coat for weeks.

2. Don't put away my laundry

Is it any wonder you look like a hobo? Yeah, you wash the clothes, but is it so much trouble to fold the shit? Seriously. You wash it, you dry it. Leaving it on the laundry table or in a basket leaves me looking rumpled and crumpled.

Also? Sometimes, I forget which basket is clean and which is dirty. So I have to do the "Does it smell clean?" test more often than a 28-year-old should.

So, hanging stuff up or folding it and putting in drawers is something of a problem.
Which is, frankly, ridiculous. Folding laundry is only slightly harder than breathing or going to the bathroom, both of which you've been doing passably for years.

So fold your friggin' laundry.

3. Buy books when I don't read the ones I have.

Working at Goodwill for the time I did, I picked up so many books. But they were a dollar! At that price, I don't know how I couldn't afford to buy them.

Even so, even though I have entire shelves of books I haven't read, I still find books to buy.

I especially hated it when I moved. Because books are ever friggin' heavy.

But I still buy books, even though I have no idea when I'll get around to reading them.

4. Don't listen when people tell me their names.

Jeez! It's like, the most important part of a conversation with a person you've never met! But nine times out of ten, I'll meet somebody, and two lines into the conversation, forget completely the name they've just told me. I realize, with silent horror, that I have no idea what this person's name is.

Usually, I'll apologize and say I wasn't listening well enough right there in that conversation. Somehow, the person isn't as offended that I've forgotten their name early in a conversation as they are if I meet them again, and they realize that I can't remember their name.

5. Get a weird craving for Krystals.

A Krystal, for those not acquainted, is the southern cousin of the White Castle. Alike in most respects, they are tiny burgers that cost something like 45 or 50 cents apiece.

They're a little heavier on the mustard, and the bun is different, a bit heavier and sweeter.

But they are alike in the respect that the are mostly grease and sawdust. The sawdust gets into your stomach, and expands. The grease gets the intestinal tract all slicked up, and everything in your digestive system slides right out of your system. Here's the thing...I've heard White Castles called Sliders, but jeebus. White Castle never sent me to the crapper like Krystal does.

Still, I get the weird urge twice a year or so. I'll decide that I want Krystal.

Because apparently I like sitting on the toilet.