Possum
Possum
You know, in the dictionary, it's spelled opossum. Which is ridiculous. English being the evolving, ever-changing beast that it is, I say we all agree to make a conscious semantic leap forward, and just start spelling the North American marsupial "Possum," and be done with it.
I bring the possum up because I saw a live one on my drive home from work tonight.
It's kind of a rare thing for me.
See, I've seen plenty of possums in my time.
But most of them have been dead. Crushed to death on a road, somewhere.
Is possum Latin for roadkill?
Tonight, I saw a live one.
On the road, actually. In the other lane.
We locked eyes as I passed. I think in passing him by, I saw in that possum's eyes that I may have denied him his destiny.
Maybe possums live in a strange warrior-type society, where the only way to possum heaven is under the tires of a passing automobiles. A possum who dies of old age is not a true possum. He will spend his eternity at the gates of Possum Valhalla, never to sup at the Warrior's table.
Maybe. I don't know. There just hasn't been enough scientific study into the religious implications and belief structures of possum society.
If I had to think about it, and even if I didn't have to think about it, I'd say that I've seen just a handful of live possums in my life. Maybe a dozen, give or take. They're nocturnal. I'm basically a day person. They're woodsy. I like the woods, but mostly I sleep indoors. And really, possums and I just don't run in the same social circles.
Conversely, I've seen several dead possums. In fact, I would think the ratio would run somewhere close to 8 to 1. Maybe even 10 to one. It seems excessive, but I think the math would bear me out.
Just thinking out loud.
A couple of questions that I ask myself, here at 1:30 in the morning.
1.) Is it possible that there are possums, alive, that I am not seeing? I'm thinking this is probably the case.
2.) If there are live possums that I am not seeing, I wonder how many of them there are.
3.) And as a followup to that, those possums that I cannot see, why are they hiding from sight? Are they planning something? Should I be doing anything to protect myself from a possible possum plundering?
Ah well. I don't have any real way to tie up this bit of nonsense, so I think I'll close by saying I think "Possum Valhalla" would be an awesome name for a band, or perhaps a bar.
You know, in the dictionary, it's spelled opossum. Which is ridiculous. English being the evolving, ever-changing beast that it is, I say we all agree to make a conscious semantic leap forward, and just start spelling the North American marsupial "Possum," and be done with it.
I bring the possum up because I saw a live one on my drive home from work tonight.
It's kind of a rare thing for me.
See, I've seen plenty of possums in my time.
But most of them have been dead. Crushed to death on a road, somewhere.
Is possum Latin for roadkill?
Tonight, I saw a live one.
On the road, actually. In the other lane.
We locked eyes as I passed. I think in passing him by, I saw in that possum's eyes that I may have denied him his destiny.
Maybe possums live in a strange warrior-type society, where the only way to possum heaven is under the tires of a passing automobiles. A possum who dies of old age is not a true possum. He will spend his eternity at the gates of Possum Valhalla, never to sup at the Warrior's table.
Maybe. I don't know. There just hasn't been enough scientific study into the religious implications and belief structures of possum society.
If I had to think about it, and even if I didn't have to think about it, I'd say that I've seen just a handful of live possums in my life. Maybe a dozen, give or take. They're nocturnal. I'm basically a day person. They're woodsy. I like the woods, but mostly I sleep indoors. And really, possums and I just don't run in the same social circles.
Conversely, I've seen several dead possums. In fact, I would think the ratio would run somewhere close to 8 to 1. Maybe even 10 to one. It seems excessive, but I think the math would bear me out.
Just thinking out loud.
A couple of questions that I ask myself, here at 1:30 in the morning.
1.) Is it possible that there are possums, alive, that I am not seeing? I'm thinking this is probably the case.
2.) If there are live possums that I am not seeing, I wonder how many of them there are.
3.) And as a followup to that, those possums that I cannot see, why are they hiding from sight? Are they planning something? Should I be doing anything to protect myself from a possible possum plundering?
Ah well. I don't have any real way to tie up this bit of nonsense, so I think I'll close by saying I think "Possum Valhalla" would be an awesome name for a band, or perhaps a bar.
posted by Tommy at
01:13
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