In The New Year

In The New Year

Resolutions?

I sure do like pie. In the new year, I resolve to eat more of it.

Also, in the year 2007, I will strive to make the words "Big Stupid Tommy" a little more synonomous with "Vigilante Justice." Now, I realize that the words "Big Stupid Tommy" already are synonymous with "Vigilante Justice" with me, and probably to you, my threes of readers. But that is only amongst the crowd who habitate the Online Nerd Diary Worldosphere. In 2007, I plan to make my particular blend of hilarious justice more of a mainstream phenomenon.

I resolve to write more. Because, if you'll allow me a sappy second, it's what I feel happiest doing. Is it too sappy to say that when I do it, even as horridly as I do, it makes me feel like it's what I'm supposed to be doing on this Earth?

I also feel like what I'm supposed to be doing on other planets. So I resolve for NASA to get their asses in gear.

I resolve not to use my job as an excuse for not writing, either. Been doing that too much.

As a corollary, I resolve not to work so much. They aren't giving me a prize for doing it, unless that prize is "more work." I probably should have read the fine print.

I resolve to read the fine print, in 2007.

I resolve to pack my lunch a little more. It's cheaper. Plus, my 30 year project to see just how much fat I can pack onto my 6'3" frame is almost at its end. I figure the project was very much a success, though I can't muchly remember why we started the project in the first place. As such, I no longer need to visit the Wendy's and the Arby's and the Burger Kings of the world.

However, I resolve to visit the Burger Kings of the world, if only to keep that creepy Burger King from the commercials from visiting me.

Also. Smaller portions. Recent research into the paranormal has shown that animals hold no ill will over being eaten, and they will not come back to haunt you if you don't "eat the whole thing." I have to admit that a study of my own theological foundations, especially as it concerns all things animal, has left me appalled.

Did you know that I believed that if you shot a cat with a BB gun it became a vampire?

Lastly. I resolve to laugh a little more. Jeebus. It ain't nearly as serious as I want to take it. Every now and then, I have to re-learn to laugh at life. It's a continuing journey.