Where are my keys?

Where are my keys?

Thus far, we have ascertained that my keys are not:

• in the pocket of the pants I wore yesterday
• in the front door
• On the shelf next to the door
• on my desk
• on the coffee table
• on the couch
• in the couch (the couch eats things. I think my late grandmother's in there.)
• on the counter where I put groceries
• on the kitchen table
• in the refrigerator
• on the sink in the bathroom
• on the floor around the toilet
• on the nightstand
• on any of the bookshelves
• in the truck (where I left the passenger door unlocked)

Sitting here thinking. Wondering where the fuck they could be. Starting to get concerned that in some fit of lunacy if I threw them in the garbage, which I took to the dumpster this morning....

Update:

• Not in any of the dresser drawers
• Not in any of the drawers in the bathroom.
• Not behind the bookshelves
• Not behind the computer monitor or printer
• Not in those little side pockets on the door of the truck
• Not in the kitchen cabinets
• Not in the cabinet on the desk
• Not in the Pen Cup
• Not on top, underneath or behind the computer
• Not in the medicine cabinet
• Not behind the microwave

Update:

• Not behind any of the furniture
• A second search of the innards of the couch yielded nothing
• I don't know why I'd put my keys under the teevee, but they weren't there, either.
• The city won't search the sewers to see if I somehow flushed my keys down the toilet.

Finale (Here there be spoilers):

• The keys, my friends, were on the window sill behind the sink in the kitchen. I was unloading groceries last night, and I must have set them there, carrying food into said kitchen.

Thanks for playing; winning bets must be redeemed before doors close of business at 2 AM....