In which I read about a neighbor on Fark

In which I read about a neighbor on Fark

This guy lives a stone's throw from me. He's been all over the local paper. Imagine my surprise and pleasure to find a neighbor on Fark....

After getting struck by a car Sunday and beaten by an intruder Monday, Tony Hicks returned to a hospital a third straight day when police investigating a convenience store robbery in Athens shot him.

A McMinn County judge today set a $100,000 bond for Hicks. He is charged with aggravated robbery and attempted first degree murder.

Police say Hicks was shot after making "aggressive movements" toward officers who were looking to question him as part of an investigation of a Tuesday night convenience store robbery.

Hicks was treated at a Knoxville hospital and has been released. He is back in jail.

Police reports show that before dawn Sunday, Hicks was struck outside his apartment by a car driven by a woman who had been revving the engine. Police say Hicks went on his own to a hospital.

On Monday night, Hicks' apartment was broken into by a knife-wielding burglar. He was robbed after being struck in the face with a coffee mug. Hicks was taken to a hospital for treatment.

An Athens investigator says the unrelated sequence of hospitalizations--Sunday, Monday and Tuesday--is not the first time police have dealt with Hicks.

I think that last part simply proves that everything indeed does happen in threes.

Also, I have to ask...isn't it funny how the best laid plans of mice and men go awry? The guy robbing Hicks, sending him to the hospital for the second time, broke into his apartment with a knife but Hicks was robbed after being hit with a coffee cup. I'd kinda like to see how that little ballet played out.

So anyway, this dude's not living far from my house (at least, I think--personally, I'd evict Mr. Arrest Trifecta in a half a heartbeat). Just a few streets over. Like I said, a stone's throw.

A stone's throw, if I could throw a stone a quarter of a mile.

And if I could do that shit, do you think I'd be managing a store and sitting here writing little missives about how I look up to Optimus Prime in my spare time?

Shit no. I'd be playing Major League Baseball, or in the NFL. Or deriving some sort of living out of the notoriety of being able to heave a rock some 1300 feet with my bare hands.

And making millions of dollars doing it.

Don't get me wrong: I'd still write missives about how much Optimus Prime means to me. In fact, I think I'd have more spare time, and therefore write even more of them. Only difference being, I think more people would read them. Perhaps I'd have my own Sporting News Column, or something.

But you take my meaning.

Or do you?

Your Pal,

"Black Superman" Tony Atlas